


The sun, The moon, and you

by Yellowpillows



Series: The Sun, the Moon, and You [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-06-22 16:45:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15586287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellowpillows/pseuds/Yellowpillows
Summary: The one where two people fall in love, and it's as simple as that





	1. Chapter 1

She should’ve done something, anything would’ve been at least helpful. Emily sighed and shivered rubbing her hands up and down her arms trying to calm herself down. 

 

It looked like she was deep in thought but all that was going through her head was:

_ Kelley is hurt because of me. Kelley is hurt because of me. Kelley is hurt because of me.  _

 

The detective cleared his throat bringing her back into reality. “Ms.Sonnett, I’m gonna need that statement from you.” He got out his recorder and clumsily switched it on and slid it on the table, then he nodded for her to begin talking. 

 

Emily took a deep breath and began shakily. “We were crossing through an alley to get to the other side to meet up with the rest of the team.” She paused for a second having a hard time remembering what happened next, it all happened so fast. “Then this giant guy comes out of nowhere and he asks for our wallets, I didn’t think he was carrying a gun at first. And Kelley being the stubborn person she is grabs me and we start running and then all of the sudden I hear two bangs and she’s on the ground and he’s running.”

 

The detective nodded, “Can you describe to me what he looked like?” He asked. 

 

“I only remember vaguely he was wearing an orange shirt I didn’t catch the logo, that’s all I remember.” Emily told the detective all she remembered, all she wanted to do now was to return to the waiting room. 

 

The detective got up from the chair and grabbed his stuff, “Thank you so much for your cooperation, if you remember anything more after the shock wears off feel free to give me a call.” He said handing her his business card. 

 

The waiting room was silent when she returned to her seat. Her teammates worriedly looked at her but gave her some space. All eyes turned towards the entrance as Becky entered her arms filled with bags of snacks and water. She had gone back to the hotel to grab some things, most of them haven’t eaten since lunch. 

 

Emily’s eyes scanned the room looking at her roommates scattered around the room. Tobin was praying with Allie in the corner of the room in their own little bubble. Alex and Christen sat side by side looking down at their phones. Alex’s feet tapping impatiently on the tile floor. Glancing up every few minutes to see if the doctor was coming out to update them. Carli was pacing the parameter of the room and Ashlyn was on the phone probably updating Ali. Emily had picked a chair in the far side of the room, the girls got the hint she wanted to be alone. They were taking shifts waiting for news about Kelley’s surgery. The younger players had gone back to the hotel to get some sleep and would be back in the morning. 

 

Becky went around the room passing out snacks and water. She sat down on the seat beside Emily’s and handed her a sweatshirt. “I grabbed something comfortable for you it was the closest thing to the door.” Emily gave her a soft smile, “Thanks.” 

 

Becky wrapped her up in a tight hug, “She’s gonna be ok.”

 

As soon as the tears started she couldn’t get them to stop. Becky wrapped her tighter in her arms, rocking them back and forth as Emily sobbed into her arms. Becky just wrapped her arms around her. She didn’t tell her it was going to be okay because none of this was okay, but they could hope. 

 

It wasn’t until Becky left her alone that she realized the hoodie was Kelley’s old worn out Stanford Jersey. Emily just sat there staring at it. She felt like she was going to puke but before the panic could eat her alive, she remembered her subtle breathing exercises that brought her heart rate down. She couldn’t get that sight out of her head, Kelley laying on the ground in her own blood gasping for air. 

 

Hunger was the last thing on her mind but she forced down a granola bar and sipped on a cup of water not knowing when she’d get a proper meal again. 

 

Everyone was asleep when the surgeon came out of the door. He removed his mask and looked around not sure who to talk to. Emily shot out of her seat to greet him. He smiled at her, “She just got out of surgery, we removed the bullets but we might have to go back in to remove some small pieces.” Emily nodded looking back at not sure if she wanted to wake up her teammates. 

 

“Would you like to see her?” The doctor asked, “she’s asleep of course but you can visit in her room.” Emily looked back at her teammates sleeping peacefully again. The doctor put his hand on her shoulder, “I’ll tell them when they wake up.”

 

Emily nodded and followed him down into the patient wing. The hallway was long and seemed to go on forever. The constant beep of the heart monitors could be heard. Finally the doctor stopped at Kelley’s door and slid the door open for Emily to go in. 

 

Her heart dropped at how frail Kelley seemed in her hospital bed. She took a few steps into the room while the doctor silently slid close the door behind her leaving her by herself. 

 

“Oh my god, what did they do to you.” She whispered taking Kelley’s hand into her own. 

 

Tears brimmed her eyes as she took a breath, this happened because of her. She let someone hurt the person she loved. Not that Kelley knew she loved her, and maybe now she’ll never know. She turned around when she heard a quiet knock on the glass door. It was Julie and Alyssa they must’ve woken up. 

 

Emily nodded for them to come in and they slid open the door. She pressed a soft kiss to Kelley’s temple and gave her hand a soft squeeze. 

 

Julie immediately wrapped Emily up in a hug. “She’s okay.” She reassured her. Emily nodded and wiped her off her tears. 

 

Alyssa went back out to wake up the rest of the team. They all crowded around Kelley’s bed grabbing chairs, snacks, books, music. Nobody wanted to leave until Kelley was ok. Emily sat in the corner texting her sister, reassuring her that she didn’t have to fly all the way to Ohio

 

She felt like she was 6 feet under water, drowning. Even if Kelley is ok, she’s gonna hate her. 

 

What if she pulled Kelley aside? Or took the bullets for her? Or if they didn’t take that shortcut through the alley Kelley would be fine. They would probably be laughing about something stupid and Emily’s heart would swell every time she smiled over at her. 

 

She had to get out of the room before she exploded. Emily grabbed her phone and jacket, “I gotta go.” She said before walking out the door. 

 

Emily didn’t care where she went she just knew that it had to be away from the hospital and away from Kelley.  _ She’s gonna hate me when she wakes up. _

 

She stumbles her way out the hospital and into the street, mapping the nearest bar onto her phone. Emily sighs and puts on the hoodie Becky gave her, giving into the cold. If there was a word that could come close to describing what she felt it was,  _ numb.  _ All she wanted to do now was drown her numbness in alcohol which she knew wasn’t a great way to cope but she could not find it in herself to care. 

 

She gets in the Uber and informs her driver where she’s headed, ignoring the mountain of notifications she’s getting. 

 

Emily swirls the whiskey in her glass, listening to the chinking of the ice cubes, breathing in the fragrance of the seedy bar. Somehow her drink reminds her of Kelley’s refusal to drink anything but Beer and Vodka, claiming she was a ‘classy gal’ . Emily’s heart clenches and she closes her eyes and downs another shot.

 

_ What if she doesn’t wake up? _

Another shot.

_ I should’ve pushed her out of the way. _

Another shot.

_ What if she never knows I was falling for her? _

Another shot.

 

She throws her head back shot after shot until the warm feeling of the alcohol can be felt in her stomach and the fuzzy feeling takes over her brain. She felt the earth rocking beneath her and her mind drifting in and out like the tide. Emily slumps onto the floor of the bar and silently cries to herself. 

 

She fumbles her phone out and it looks blurry but she could just make out ‘Sam’.

 

“Mewey?” The slurring of her words were now evident to herself. 

 

“Nope, not Mewey.” 

 

Emily laughs everything is so mudded to her.

 

“Where are you Sonny?” 

 

“Sam I can’t do this. I-I-I messed up so badly and what if she never wakes up.” Her voice breaks as the hot tears started streaming down her face rapidly. 

 

“Deep breaths, focus on my accent.”

 

Somehow after 20 minutes Sam manages to get Emily to send her the location of the bar and tells her to stay put. Emily doesn’t know why but she’s too drunk to care.There is of course a small voice quietly nagging at the back of her mind, reminding her that she won’t feel this way tomorrow and that her actions will have repercussions, and perhaps ones of great severity. 

 

\----

 

Sam finds her leaning against the bar holding a conversation with herself. In any other situation the australian would laugh but her heart breaks at how shattered her friend looks. She goes up to Emily and taps her shoulder. 

 

Emily turns around and she breaks out in a wide grin, “You look like my friend Sam!” She says inspecting Sam’s face now with her fingers. 

 

Sam sighs and grabs her arm, “Come on I’m taking you back to the hotel.” 

 

She manages to drunkenly make her way into the passenger side of Sam’s car, not even questioning where her friend came from. 

 

She’s half asleep and her mind is very fuzzy but she catches Sam telling her that she flew in and Nikki was at the hospital with Kelley.

 

_ Kelley. _ There it was again, the dagger into her chest.  

 

“It’s my fault Sammy, Kelley’s hurt because of me.”

 

Sam shakes her head, “No Emily, no. Kelley’s hurt because some asshole decided to shoot her over a few dollars. Don’t you dare say it’s your fault.” Emily just snuggles into Kelley’s sweatshirt, it still smells like her. Back at the hotel, some of the training staff waits nervously in the lobby. Dawn insists on looking Emily over before handing Sam the room key and thanking her. As soon as Emily’s back in her hotel room the world spun one more time and it's lights out until the morning. 

 

\----

She wakes up to the smell of coffee and two people talking quietly, and of course a dull headache. Dawn must’ve made her drink water and take some painkillers before she went to her room. Emily sits up slowly and looks around for her phone, she finds it charging on the nightstand. She groans at the amount of notifications, texts, snapchats, messages, all from her teammates. 

 

“Morning.” 

 

She snaps her head up and sees Lindsey handing her a cup of coffee. 

 

“Thanks Linds.” 

 

Rose walks out of the bathroom, “Oh, Sonny’s awake!”

 

Emily gives them a guilty smile, “I’m sorry.” she says hanging her head.

 

“We love you so much Em, just know that we’re here to talk to, all of us.” Lindsey gives her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.  

 

\----

 

She splashes cold water on her face just to feel something refreshing and instantly wishes she could wash her brain free of the toxins too. She squints at her reflection in the mirror, she looks dehydrated her dry mouth sticky with thick saliva. Emily gets dressed quickly not sure what their plans are. 

 

“Are we going back to the hospital?” 

 

Rose nods, “You don’t have to go back, we’re here to support you.”

 

Emily wraps the two girls up in a tight hug, they had always been her support system throughout everything. Rose makes her eat despite her complaints but the girl claimed that Dawn would kill her if she didn’t. So, she reluctantly devours the sandwich not realizing how hungry she actually is. Lindsey tells her in the Uber that Sam went back to the Hospital early this morning and the girls who went back to the hotel last night was heading back there. Becky greets her by punching her arm and wrapping her in a hug muttering ‘stupid child’. 

 

“She’s awake.” 

 

Emily’s eyes widen and she isn’t so sure she can do this anymore. Becky sense her fear, “Stop blaming yourself Em. She’s been asking for you.” 

 

She takes a breath and nods,  _ that’s a good sign right? _

 

Outside of Kelley’s room she stops for a moment and takes a deep breath, ready to hear whatever Kelley has to say. Kelley smiles weakly when she sees her enter the room.

 

“Where’ve you been?” 

 

She gathers that the team probably failed to tell Kelley about her, ‘adventure’ last night. 

 

“Just needed some air.” Kelley raises her eyebrows but doesn’t point out that she knows Emily is hiding something from her.

 

Emily starts crying and she covers her face with her hands. “Oh my god, you’re okay.” Kelley swears her heart broke in that moment. She starts rambling, “Kelley I’m so sorry. If I never led us into that alley none of this would’ve happened, and you would be fine.” 

 

Kelley sits up wincing, “Em, hey no. Don’t you dare pin this on yourself. Come here.”

 

Emily tries to catch her breath and wipes her eyes. Kelley moves over to make space for Emily who climbs in beside her. Kelley gently snuggles into Emily’s neck and presses a gentle kiss there. “You’re my hero Em.” She feel the younger girl relaxing into her side but could still hear her sniffles. 

 

“I promise I’m gonna find that bitch and we’re gonna make sure he never hurts anyone again.” Emily makes a promise right then not only to Kelley but to herself that she was gonna find that guy no matter what it took. Kelley pokes her nose, “Hey I’m right here, and I’m okay. Because you got me to the hospital in time okay?” Emily sniffs dejectedly and buries her face in her chest. They melt into each other like ice-cream on a warm porcelain bowl, like she belonged next to her, and nothing in the world mattered. They drift off into sleep and when their teammates returned they too curled up with each other around the room, of course first taking a photo of the duo and updating their frantic fans at their right back was just alright. 

 

The doctors brings them good news that Kelley would not need surgery again but she would need a lot of help getting around for a few weeks. Most of the girls start to fly home now that they knew Kelley was going to be okay. Sam and Nikki were the last people to fly back home, the four girls share a teary goodbye in the hospital, Emily offers to pay for their Uber but they refuse. It doesn’t feel awkward when the only person left is Kelley’s sister Erin. Emily had met a few times before and they bonded over their mutual humor. 

 

“When are you leaving?” Kelley asks the morning of the day she’s supposed to get discharged. “When are you leaving?” Emily repeats the question back at her and Kelley is stumped. 

 

“Are you mocking me Sonnett?” Emily laughs and continues to pack Kelley’s clothes. 

 

“No, I’m going wherever you’re going.” 

 

Kelley raises her eyebrows and moves to sit up she looks at Emily calmly packing her clothes for a moment before speaking again. “I’m going to Georgia since it’s off-season.”

 

“Perfect! I happen to be from Georgia too.” Emily gives her a smart-ass smirk and winks clumsily. Kelley laughs but winces grabbing at her wound. 

 

“You know you don’t have to take care of me right? You can go home if you want.” She reassures Emily, Kelley doesn’t want the girl to feel guilty. 

 

Emily zips up Kelley’ suitcase and smiles up softly at her, “Yea, but I want to.”

 

The doctor walks in with her sister and a wheelchair, interrupting their moment. 

 

“Alright Ms. O’hara you’re ready to go. Just follow the instructions I gave your sister and get your checkup in 2 weeks in Georgia and hopefully you’ll get your stitches out.” Kelley nods and slowly sits up the bed. Emily and Erin grabs her arms and weans her slowly and gently into the wheelchair. 

 

The car ride to Georgia is 11 hours and they’re stuck listening to Erin’s indie-rock music but Emily’s by her side and she’s not in a hospital so she’ll take it. Emily switches with Erin at hour 6 and Kelley’s asleep in the backseat her head resting against the glass. Erin is fondling with the music letting Emily queue a song here and there.

 

“Do you love her?” Erin asks her out of the blue and Emily almost crashes the car into the side of the road. 

 

She can feel Erin’s eyes trained on the side of her face expecting an answer but she stays quiet for a moment thinking her answer through. “I think I might.” 

 

Erin looks surprised for a moment and Emily expects the worse but she just smiles and pats her on the shoulder, “Happy looks good on you Emily.” is all she says before playing the next song.

 

Kelley wakes up to them singing along to ‘I got a feeling’ and she can’t help but pull out her phone to record the moment. Erin notices her and starts pointing at the camera and Emily sings even louder. She notices the growl of her stomach and complains for the next 20 minutes until Emily rolls her eyes and takes the next exit into a small town. Emily runs into the gas station while Erin pumps gas. She buys a few snacks and drinks before sliding into the back seat with Kelley who starts eying the bag as soon as she sets it down.

 

“I got you a La Croix and some snacks and coffees for us normal people.” Erin pops back into the car and starts the engine. She turns back, “I heard coffee.” Emily hands her the latte she got her at the gas station, still piping hot. 

 

By the time they pull into the driveway of the O’Hara household the snacks are long gone and the cups empty. Kelley is fast asleep her head on Emily’s shoulders. Erin wakes Kelley up and her and Emily help her into the house. She’s met with her parents fussing over her. They had been worried sick but Erin had reassured them that they didn’t need to fly out. She doesn’t notice Emily stumble back into the house with their bags in tow. 

 

“And who might you be?” Kelley’s dad turns to Emily. Before Kelley could introduce her, Emily sticks her hand out, “Emily Sonnett, sir.” 

 

Her parents smile at Emily approvingly, “Just call us Dan and Karen.” Kelley laughs to herself knowing that her parents knew who Emily was and just wanted to intimidate her.

 

Erin shows her their guest bedroom with a giant smirk on her face knowing that the defender probably won’t even use. She doesn’t want to disrespect Kelley’s space so she changes into some sweatpants and a hoodie because the ac was on full blast and she was freezing. She’s still tossing and turning by midnight when there’s a knock on the door before someone swings it open. Emily sits up groggily, it’s Kelley and she jumps out of bed to take her weight.

 

“You’re not supposed to be walking.” She grumbles.

 

“I couldn’t sleep.” 

 

Emily helps her onto the bed not sure what she wanted. Kelley climbs under her covers and Emily rolls her eyes but she was glad she’s here.

 

“You couldn’t sleep or you couldn’t sleep without me?” Emily teases letting Kelley snuggle into her chest. 

“Shut up, I forgot how cold they kept the house and you’re warm.” 

 

They had been tiptoeing the blurred line of friendship for months before the shooting, but laying there safe in Emily’s arms, it’s the most at ease she’s felt in a while.

  
  


\----

Kelley teases her relentlessly in the morning when she sees that Emily’s in fact, wore her Stanford hoodie to bed. Emily just groans and sips on her coffee, no one in the house were up yet except for them. They were sitting on the patio outside of the guest bedroom a blanket thrown around them. 

 

“I’ll take it off.” She starts wiggling her way out of the sweatshirt but Kelley’s hands stop her.

 

“I’m just teasing, it’s cute Em.” She smiles in a way that makes Emily dizzy and kisses her on the neck softly before leaning back into her. The Georgian sun was rising slowly over the houses when Kelley softly admits her fears. 

 

“I could have died that night.” She says and Emily immediately wants to apologize but Kelley continues. 

 

“There was nothing you could’ve done, I got lucky, and I just can’t help but think that god has a plan. Now I see everything differently, life could end any second and I’m just tired of wasting time I could be spending happy with you.” Emily doesn’t process the last part until a few seconds later, she looks at Kelley.

 

They lean in a little closer, foreheads touching. Kelley kisses her and the world falls away. It’s slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. Kelley’s hand rests below her ear, her thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled. She ran her fingers down Kelley’s spine, pulling her closer until there was no space left between them and she could feel the beating of her heart against her chest. They miss the sunset but neither are upset. 


	2. Chapter 2

By the second week of bed rest Kelley is restless. Emily tries her best to keep her company, she trains in the morning and then usually spends the day reading or watching television with Kelley. Kelley notices her going to bed later and later each night, always claiming to be reading something. She tries to get her back into bed to snuggle but eventually Emily will get up and continue looking at her computer. It bothers her but she decides to let it go.The first day Kelley is off bed rest, Emily’s off with her mom running errands. She can’t help but notice Emily’s laptop open on her side of the bed. Kelley fights an internal battle with herself before giving in and grabbing the laptop. There isn’t a password on the laptop so it opens right up to,  _ police reports? _

Kelley scrunches her eyebrows up as she scrolls through file after file all relating to her mugging.  _ So this is what’s keeping her up. _

She sighs and places the laptop back where Emily left it last night. Emily hasn’t been sleeping because she’s been studying reports of Kelley’s mugging. Kelley can’t help but feel responsible that the girl is basically self destructing. She had fallen asleep during dinner the other night but she had just assumed Emily had a tough day a training and had exerted herself. 

 

She decides to keep clear her mind by meditating so she’d have a calm demeanor when Emily gets back from running errands. Everytime she finally relaxes and clears her mind, the thought of Emily hunched over her laptop studying file after file thirsty to find the perpetrator slips back into her mind. 

 

Emily pops into her room about an half hour later flopping onto the bed groaning. Kelley laughs and scootches towards her. 

 

“Did my mom wear you out?”

 

Emily groans even more putting her hand over her face, “She took an extra hour because she couldn’t decide what kind of chocolate she liked.” 

 

Kelley chuckles, it wasn’t unlike her mother to be indecisive, after she had to get her unfortunate trait from somewhere. They lay there for a few minutes while Kelley gathers up the courage to confront Emily. She thinks of ways to approach the conversation but eventually the words just come out.

 

“Hey Em?” They’re laying face to face studying each other’s features. Emily hums acknowledging her but stays silent.

 

“Why are there so many police files on your computer.” Kelley asks and Emily’s eyes fill with guilt as she props herself against the headboard. She stays silent for a long time, she doesn’t look mad at the fact that Kelley went through her computer just conflicted.

 

“I promised you I’d catch him.” she refused to meet Kelley’s gaze.

 

Kelley’s eyes fill with a gentle concern She laid her hand lightly on her shoulder, and grazed her hand on her collarbone. “You haven’t been sleeping baby. Please let the police take care of it.” She says gently pressing kisses on the side of Emily’s cheek. 

 

Emily looks at her and for the first time she notices how exhausted her body and mind feels. She’s been running on five percent battery for the past week and she hasn’t been able to give her 100% at off-season training. 

 

“Okay.” She says pressing a kiss to Kelley’s temple. 

 

Emily reaches over to find a pillow her eyes softly close and her body becomes relaxed. Kelley shakes her head at how easy the conversation turned out. She cuddles in, feeling the rise and fall of Emily’s chest, the rhythmic noise slowing her own breathing, lulling her to sleep. 

 

——

She feels better after the doctor takes out her stitches, the pain is more minor but the pain of not being able to be on a soccer field is more painful. It frustrated her that all she could do is heal, no amount of PT was going to make her heal better, it was just her mind and body. 

 

Her mom tries to bring up a conversation about her and Emily but she doesn’t want to talk about it until her and Emily have a conversation. She brought it up the next day during breakfast at a local diner.

 

“What are we?” She asks, Emily looks up at her confused. 

 

“Human.” She answers quirking her eyebrows up. 

 

“Haha, very funny. I meant our relationship Em.” Emily’s face softens and she reaches over to grab Kelley’s hand.

 

“What do you want to be?” Emily directs the question back onto her. 

 

“Human.” Kelley replies smirking and Emily huffs out of fake offense. 

 

Kelley squeezes her hand, “Would you like to be my girlfriend?” 

 

Kelley’s never seen Emily’s smile so big on her face as she nods her head. 

 

“You’re my human.” Emily says and Kelley throws a sugar packet at her but her smile’s just as big. 

 

___

Kelley’s parents hug them when they break the news during dinner. Her mom tells them she had her suspicions when Kelley allowed Emily to take care of her during her most vulnerable time. It make Emily’s heart warm that Kelley trusts her.

 

At the end of the night Emily’s stomach hurts from laughing and Kelley’s beyond embarrassed as her parents tell story after story. 

 

Emily drives her around town that night until they eventually stumble into her high school's soccer field. It’s crazy how Emily just turns her heart into goo. 

 

“Watch the stars with me Kell.” 

They lay under the stars, a beautiful, surreal blanket above their heads. She could feel Emily’s heartbeat against the back of her head. The sky reminded her of Emily’s freckles, stardust brushing the universe somehow bringing them closer. 

 

As cliche as it sounds seeing the way the stars illuminate the darkness, her fears crumble to dust beneath her feet. Her fears, her doubts, her insecurities now lingered at a distance. She’s reminded that wounds heal into scars, some of the permanent, some of them not. When she was younger she always described the night sky as ‘beautiful’ but now she realizes that doesn’t do it justice. It’s not something you can describe to someone exactly or capture in a photo.

 

Just like Emily and the way she makes Kelley feels a hundred emotions at once. 

 

When she looks at her it was as if she stole every ounce of breath from her lungs every time they kissed it felt like the world stopped, and her legs turn into jello. 

 

Kelley feels Emily’s hand reach for hers and they interlock as a gentle kiss is pressed to her temples. 

 

“You’re so beautiful.” She whispers, Kelley feels the warmth of her breath in behind her ear. Just as the first bite of summer wind creeps under her shirt Emily’s hand moves around her middle, warm and soft. In seconds their bodies are molded together, she takes in the extra body heat. 

___

Her family is by her side when she receives the call that they found her mugger. She tells the cop she doesn’t want to learn his name or press charges. She feels a wave a relief that he’ll never hurt anyone else again. 

 

Her heart fills with love seeing how easily her girlfriend interacts with her family. She starts to grow accustomed to waking up in her childhood bedroom with Emily wrapped around her. She starts to pick up on the small things Emily does, like leaving her toothbrush on the left side of the sink or taking her coffee with no cream, or the adorable way she scrunches up her nose when she’s about to sneeze. 

 

It doesn’t take much for her to realize that she’s in love.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a short chapter I just wanted to update cause there's been NO So'hara fics lately.

 

Emily’s there through it all, from her first time running again to her first touches with a ball. She’s patient through the times when Kelley feels frustrated at all the progress she’s lost. Most importantly, they become so intertwined that Kelley doesn’t want to think about how hard it’s going to be when the season starts and they have to be apart. Moe visits them for a week and she teases Kelley relentlessly about how domestic they are. Kelley denies it at first but she notices it in the way her and Emily cook together, working around each other effortlessly or the way Emily knows how she takes her coffee in the morning, just sweet enough but not that sweet. 

 

She remembers the days in high school when she felt like she was never going to have something like this. 

 

Something real.

 

Being closeted all 4 years of high school was something she struggled with a lot. All her friends dated guy after guy and she couldn’t help but resent their happiness. She wishes she could go back and tell 16 year old Kelley to focus on soccer and the rest will come naturally. She wishes she could tell her to not waste time on guys that treated her like crap and she didn’t have feelings for. Being anything but straight in a small town in Georgia wasn’t exactly the easiest. Her only goal in high school was to leave Georgia and go wherever soccer takes her. 

 

She didn’t go home until her junior year at Stanford. It wasn't her family, it was the town that was filled with feelings of uneasiness. 

 

But being back here with Emily by her side she’s never felt more at home.

 

___

 

It’s nearing the end of February and she wants to fly back to Portland with her but she has 9 weeks left of her recovery program and it would be a nightmare to move to another program in Portland. 

 

Her whole family squeezes into a tiny car to send Emily off to Portland. There’s not one dry eye in the room as they say goodbye, Emily had become family over the past few months. 

  
  


Kelley kisses her long and hard as tears threaten to spill from her eyes. Emily wraps her arms around her neck and looks her in the eyes.

 

“I’ll see you soon stud.” 

 

Kelley smiles and presses one last kiss onto her lips before letting her go.

 

Emily doesn’t look back. If she did she’d never leave Georgia.

 

___

Georgia feels lonely without Emily in it but she feels blessed that she’s surrounded by her family. On the first night after Emily left Erin burrowes into her bed and refuses to let her sleep alone. They spend the night reliving childhood memories and ugly crying over rom-coms. They don’t fall asleep until 2 in the morning but Kelley still drags her sister to the beach 4 hours later to catch the first wave. 

 

At lunch she receives a call from Emily, she hasn’t even been gone for more than 24 hours but it feels so good to hear her voice. She tells Kelley that it hasn’t stopped raining in Portland since she arrived and her bed isn’t as warm as Kelley’s. Kelley just sits there with a lopsided grin listening to her girlfriend complain on the phone as if it’s the most adorable thing she’s ever witnessed. Erin makes fun of her later, (Kelley throws a piece of bread at her). 

  
  


___

 

_ “Give me the wallet!” _

 

_ “I said give me the fucking wallet!” _

 

_ He spoke without any nerves, this wasn't his first dance in a alleyway, but it was hers. Her hands shook but her first thought was to protect Emily. _

 

_ “Run.” She said as she took Emily’s hand and they started to run but all of the sudden all she felt was searing pain that was worse than every injury she’s ever had and she’s had a lot. _

 

Kelley wakes up to the sound of  her heart beating out of her chest. She lays there trembling, trying to calm herself down. This definitely wasn’t her first nightmare about the incident but it was the first time she woke up without Emily to calm her down. She thinks about calling Emily but instead she opens spotify and hits shuffle.

 

It’s a song she's heard a thousand times before but never enough. The chords are like a well worn pair of cleats, one her brain knows every curve and every small detail to. The velvet voice brings the lyrics, words familiar and safe. In moments she is asleep, body relaxed, breathing steadily.

 

The nightmares don’t stop but every night she falls asleep to those lyrics.

 

_ And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one _

_ 'Cause most of us are bitter over someone _

_ Setting fire to our insides for fun _

_ To distract our hearts from ever missing them _

_ But I'm forever missing him _

_ (Youth, Daughter) _

 

She tells her mom about the nightmares and they sit together one night praying together. That night she sleeps soundly through the night. She doesn’t want to talk to a therapist so she talks to god. Everynight before she goes to sleep she whispers out a prayer. 

__

 

She finishes her recovery program and the doctor clears her to start weaning back into training. Her and Emily celebrate that night over Skype. 

 

“So when are you going back to Utah?” 

 

“2 weeks, I’m due back for training in 3 so I thought it’d be nice to get settled in first.”  Kelley answers.

 

Emily ends up falling asleep and Kelley falls in love with the sight of her girlfriend adorably curled up on her couch. She shakes her head and disconnects the call, formulating a plan in her head that she’s been contemplating for a while. 

 

The Thorns play Sky Blue in Jersey this weekend and tickets from Georgia to Jersey were only $96. The game was in 2 days and she texted some old teammates to hook her up with some tickets. Now all she has to do was buy the plane tickets.

 

_ It'a not a hard decision.  _

 

She decides that she was going to fly to New Jersey to surprise her girl, then fly back to Portland with her for a week before flying to Utah. 

 

__

 

Emily has been texting her about how hot New Jersey is all morning and Kelley just laughs to herself as the same sun beats down on her. She did not want to attract attention to herself so she kept her gameday outfit lowkey. 

 

A Royals hat, Thorns jersey (Emily’s of course), and black ripped jeans, and of course her ray bans. She could not take her eyes off Emily the whole time the thorns were warming up on the field. She was so close yet Kelley couldn’t feel her or pull her into a hug, it was kind of torturous. At half time she buys herself a hot dog and runs into some fans who ask for autographs and pictures, the usual. 

 

Portland wins 3-0 over Sky Blue and Kelley’s heart hurts for her former teammates but it also quickens when she realizes she’s minutes away from seeing her girlfriend. 

 

None of the Thorns players sign, they just take a few photos with some fans and head into the back area (since sky blue has no locker room). 

 

“Hey sonny will you sign my jersey?”

 

Emily looks up at the familiar voice and she gasps to see Kelley looking down at her tugging at her Thorns Jersey. 

 

She jogs back out and climbs to fence into the bleachers. Some fans are looking at her but they don’t approach her as she makes her way to Kelley.

 

Her brain is still processing that she’s actually here when the warmth of Kelley’s body meets her sweaty skin. She was grinning from ear to ear as she presses a kiss behind Kelley’s ear.

 

“You’re here.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys I'm sorry I'm so busy with school I had some time today and decided to write! Hope you like it:)

Kelley’s exhausted when Lindsey’s knocking on their door at the crack of dawn. She groans and puts a pillow over her head hoping that she would go away. Instead of stopping, Lindsey knocks for five minutes straight before Emily throws a shirt on and answers the door.

 

“The bus is leaving in an hour, here’s your coffee.” Kelley hears Lindsey mutter sleepily before she hears the door click shut.

 

“Come back to bed.” She whines from below the covers.

 

Emily shakes her head, “As much as I’d like to, we can’t miss the flight and I’m not packed.” she walks around the room collecting dirty clothes, books, and cleats.

 

“Babe, where’s your suitcase?”   


Emily was grabbing her toiletries from the bathroom. She crawls out of the bed and walked into the bathroom. Her girlfriend was gathering her makeup and shampoos.

  
“I didn’t bring anything” she shrugs and wraps her arms around the blonde girl’s waist leaning into her warmth.

 

“I guess now I have to steal some of your clothes huh.” She mutters into her back, the smugness evident in her voice. She didn’t have to look to see Emily rolling her eyes.

___

 

They're somehow not the last people on the bus, apparently Hayley had forgotten something in her room and went back to retrieve it. Kelley’s dressed head to toe in Emily’s warm-ups and on the bus Tobin insists that she sit by her despite Emily’s pouting but Lindsey drags her into a seat next to her.

 

“You should convince her to come to Portland,” Lindsey argues even though Emily’s spent the last 10 minutes explaining to her that it’s not that easy to get traded.

 

Emily just groans and shakes her head.

 

___

 

Kelley is thankful that Mark is being so nice about her tagging along with the team. He asks her about her recovery and when she thinks she’s going to start training again, then he politely wishes her a fast recovery before some of the staff had to chat with him.

 

The team is waiting in the terminal, the tv screen on the wall reads that they won’t board for another hour at least. Everyone’s in their own world, headphones in and reading a book or off exploring the airport. She notices how Emily hovers around her still joking around with her teammates but always sure to keep her within arms reach. She would never admit it but she secretly loves how clingy the other girl gets. Kelley has always been fond of the airport. She spends a lot of time in and out of airports and she has always loved the hustle and bustle atmosphere. The sea of faces moving through the airport like a current you could get swept away with if you were not careful. The thing she likes the most though is that everyone has their own story of why they’re in the airport. Some are excited to visit family, some going trips, funerals, business meetings. Each time a person returns to the airport they’re a different person somehow. She hates that she has to restrain from showing affection because none of Emily’s teammates knew about them. Tobin had asked her on the bus why she was really visiting and squinted at her in a suspicious way that Kelley has grown to recognize over the years. She had just shrugged it off and said she, “wanted to thank Emily for taking care of her.” Tobin obviously didn’t buy it but didn’t dig further, she was never the type of person to dig information out of her friends. That’s one of the things Kelley loved about Tobin she would never pressure her into talking but she was there if Kelley wanted someone to talk to.

 

When they board, Tobin offers her a seat between her and Lindsey but she shakes her head and follows Emily. She’s exhausted and cold and all she wants to do is to curl up around Emily and sleep. She tries really hard to keep her eyes open for the take-off (her favorite part) but Emily’s shoulder is so comfortable and warm her eyes drift close and her mind becomes foggy before her breath evens out. Emily laughs to herself when she realizes that her girlfriend was already asleep on her shoulder. She closes her eyes and lets herself enjoy this, Kelley’s head on her shoulders, their hands intertwined, she had missed this more than she would ever admit.

___

 

For Emily Sonnett falling in love with Kelley was not planned. She remembers watching Kelley on tv in high school with her teammates, that was the first time she “met” her. As cliche as it sounds, she swears from the moment she saw her she knew there was something there, even if she didn’t know what it was then. When the National Won the world cup in 2015 she was a senior at Georgia. Of course, she idolized Kelley, she played her position and Emily thought that she was absolutely stunning. She met Kelley for real during her first National Team camp, it had taken her 12 seconds to stutter out her name and shake her hand. So in a way, their whole relationship has always been a cliche.

 

She lets Kelley sleep until the captain announces that they would be landing soon. She yawns cutely and presses a kiss lightly on Emily’s shoulder. Her heart swelled at the sight of Kelley looking at her softly, her hair messy from sleep and her eyes soft. She checks to see that Hayley is asleep before leaning over and kissing her on the forehead.

 

___

Tobin drops her, Emily, and Lindsey back home in her fancy BMW. She asks Kelley why she’s staying with Emily instead of her and raises her eyebrows when Sonnett’s face goes red and Kelley struggles to stutter out an answer. Lindsey, of course, is oblivious to the obvious implications instead breaks them out of their misery by asking Emily what they want to order for dinner. Kelley takes the opportunity and shifts the conversation over pretending to consider the food options even though she knows very well Emily will pick the place with avocado toast every time.

Lindsey orders the food on her phone so when they arrive it won’t be far behind. Tobin insists on helping Kelley grab her bag from her trunk claiming that she’ll scratch something if she gets it herself. Kelley knew the real reason though, she could only keep this from her best friend for so long.

 

“You know you can tell me anything right?”

 

Kelley smiles and nods, “I will Tobin, I’m just not ready.” Tobin nods back at her understandingly and hands her the suitcases, “Make sure they unpack, if I didn’t keep an eye on them they would try to live from their suitcase until the next game.” Kelley laughs at the truth in that statement, she herself had tried to do that once.

 

“Come on Kells! The food is here!” Lindsey says excitedly from the door of the apartment. Kelley gives her a thumbs up before turning back to Tobin.

 

“Thanks for the ride Tobs.”

 

Lindsey helps her set up on the couch and Kelley starts to question if keeping their relationship to themselves was really the route to go. She knew that their relationship was still fairly new and maybe they weren’t ready to have other people know about them yet but not even being able to go to bed with Emily after spending weeks apart made her frustrated. Emily was oblivious to her brewing frustration with her foot thrown up on their coffee table setting up a game of FIFA on her newly bought PS4.

 

Kelley decides to go shower, she needed some time to herself to calm down this newfound annoyance. She walked leisurely to the shower, steam filling the room as she cut the shower on. She’s deep in thought as she picks out a shampoo that made the whole shower smell of Emily.

___

 

  
“So, I was thinking since Kell’s here we could get some drinks tomorrow night? Maybe invite a few other people?” Lindsey asks absentmindedly, she was currently crushing Emily 4-0 with Barcelona.

 

“Yeah, that sounds fun.” She agrees not taking her eyes off the screen, her eyebrows scrunching up in concentration.

 

Lindsey shoots her a mischievous look, “Maybe we’ll even find you a nice guy.”

 

Emily awkwardly laughs brushing her friend off, she was glad that Kelley was in the shower.

 

“I told you Linds, nice guys at bars aren’t really my type.” She jokes hoping that’ll get her to stop talking about it.

 

Lindsey put down her controller, she smirked at Emily, “So what’s your type then?”

 

Emily rolls her eyes Lindsey wasn’t letting this go anytime soon. “I don’t have one.”

 

Lindsey shakes her head, “Liar, you just said guys at bars aren’t your type.” Emily sighs, she stands up and starts to clean up the empty plates and napkins. “I’m just not looking for a guy right now.”

 

“So a girl then?”

 

Emily’s face goes red, “Nope I’m very very straight.”

 

Kelley walks out of the shower her hair drying in a way that reminds Emily of the early mornings in Georgia when Kelley insisted on surfing. She shoots Lindsey a questioning look, “Who's straight?”

 

“Sonny apparently.” She replies matter of factly.

 

Kelley raises her eyebrows this was not the conversation that she was expecting. “Is that so?” Lindsey nods her head, “And she’s claiming she doesn’t have a type which I call Bs on because everyone has a type.”

 

Emily is in the kitchen busying herself with the dishes cursing under her breath. Sometimes Lindsey goes too far and it frustrated her to no end but she knows that her friend just means well.

 

____

Kelley’s so glad when Lindsey calls it a night, she tells her where everything is before retiring back to her room. Emily is unpacking her suitcase in her room leaving Kelley on the couch thinking about what her girlfriend said earlier. She walks into Emily’s room and sits down on her bed watching her fold her clothes.

 

“Are you ashamed of me?” She asks in a small voice, unsure of the importance of the question. Emily softly puts down the t-shirt she’s folding and walks over to the bed.

 

“What? Is this about what I said earlier?” Emily asks a confused look on her face. Kelley nods, “well...are you?”

 

Se wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, “Why would I be ashamed of the person who makes me happier than I’ve ever been?” Kelley snuggles into her side savoring the warmth.

 

“I know you’re not out and you shouldn’t be until you’re ready I just, it’s hard you know? Not being able to hold your hand in public.”

 

What Emily saw in her eyes was a swirl of emotions and it broke her heart that she made Kelley feel like she was ashamed of her.

 

“You can hold my hand whenever,” Emily reassures her, she may not be ready to come out but it sucked not to be able to reach over and hold her hand. Slowly, inexorably, she presses her lips to Kelley’s. It’s soft and gentle and chaste and maybe there’s no fireworks or sparks, but it’s better than that it’s a wave of warmth that fills her up, spilling out from his heart to every corner of her body.

 

And that’s the way it always felt with Kelley. She could feel herself falling faster and faster for her. As cheesy as it sounds when she looked at her it was as if every ounce of breath was taken from her lungs and she was floating in the air. Every time they kissed it felt like the world stopped and all her worries fell away. She grew up in a conservative family, being anything but straight was wrong. Now sitting here with Kelley, if this was wrong then she doesn’t ever want to be right.

___

 

_It’s really an impulse decision._

 

She’s putting on a shirt to go to breakfast when she looks down and decides she wants to get a tattoo to cover her bullet scar. Emily takes her to the artist who did her tattoo and they design it together, it’s a semi-colon because her story isn’t finished yet. Emily holds her hand when the artist pulls out the needle, she just closes her eyes.

 

_If she survived getting shot, she could survive some needles._

 

And here she is an hour later face timing her parents to show them. Her mom loves the story behind it and she asks Kelley all about Portland and how Emily is. Her dad chokes up and gets sentimental telling her how proud he is of all she’s been through.

 

She keeps looking at it and Emily reminds her every 5 minutes that it’s gonna get infected if she keeps poking at it.

 

_She falls in love all over again._

 

 

 

                                                                                                   


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll are in for a wild ride, buckle in my dudes.

 

Throughout the whole week, Emily finds herself wishing that Kelley could stay forever. They are very much in their own bubble despite Emily’s training and her teammates bopping in and out of the apartment. Some mornings she wakes up to Kelley practically koala hugging her and some mornings she wakes up to Lindsey bickering with her girlfriend about something stupid like which Premier League team is better. Tobin hangs around the apartment more, sometimes at 4 in the morning bribing Kelley with coffee to drive out to her favorite surf spot, 4 hours away. Those mornings she tags along and sleeps in the car her face nuzzled into Kelley’s shoulder. She watches them from her spot on the beach, sipping on her cup of coffee. Those are her favorite mornings because after what feels like million years, Tobin and Kelley will appear back on the beach, wetsuits tied to their waists dragging their boards behind them. Kelley’s hair somehow looks even more perfect effortlessly in a way that sucks all the air from her lungs and her girlfriend just grin at her and plop down beside her.

 

Yeah, definitely her favorite mornings.

 

She feels on top of the world until her parents flies in on Saturday night and surprises her at the apartment, Kelley and Lindsey are on the couch watching Brooklyn 99 when she answers the door.

 

“Mom? Dad?” She’s in shock as she wraps her parents up in a bear hug.

 

“Surprise Honey!” Her mom says enthusiastically, “Now where’s that roommate of yours?”

Lindsey walks over to the door grinning, “Hi mama Sonnett” she gets pulled into a hug by Emily’s mom. Kelley stands awkwardly by the couch smiling at them.

 

“Kelley! What a surprise to see you here!” Emily’s dad greets her.

 

Kelley smiles at him, “Yea, I was just visiting.”

 

“You guys wanna go to dinner?” Emily asks looking around unsure of the situation.

 

Lindsey groans, “Dang, I already promised Tobin and Sinc I’d go out for a few drinks with them in 15 minutes.”

 

Kelley burns a hole into the back of Lindsey’s head with a glare but no one sees it. She starts to get more anxious at the idea of having dinner with her girlfriend’s parents, even though they don’t know they’re dating.

 

___

 

Kelley being Kelley charms the pants off of Emily’s parents at dinner. She has them laughing over funny stories from camp and their time in Georgia. She tells them about the time that Emily waited 40 minutes in her hotel room just to scare her. Everything is going smoothly and Emily starts to think that they might just survive the night until her mom takes the conversation in a different direction.

 

“So Kelley, anyone special in your life?”

 

“Mom!” Emily scolds but her mom just ignores her. Kelley shifts uncomfortably next to her but she smiles, “Yea, I’m seeing someone.”

 

Her mom’s face lights up at that, “Maybe you can help our Em here find someone, we’re starting to think she’s a lesbian!” Her mom jokes but Kelley scrunches up her eyebrows.

 

“What’s wrong with being gay?” She challenges and Emily already knows it’s a bad idea.

 

Her mom coughs, “Well you know darling.” She says, not wanting to flat out say it.

 

Emily laughs uncomfortably and checks her phone, “We should really be going, there’s a team meeting tonight I have to attend.” she lies.

 

“We should be getting back to the hotel, breakfast tomorrow?” Her dad asks taking the check from her.

 

“Yeah, of course.”

___

 

Kelley’s been out since she was a sophomore in college, she was terrified to come out to her parents but it was her truth. It was her reality and it wasn’t something she could change. She didn’t come out in high school because high schoolers can be assholes and a majority of her team was very religious. Throughout high school, she was very disconnected from her faith because her church had taught her that being anything but straight was wrong. When she had moved from Georgia to California it was truly eye-opening, everyone in California was so open about their sexuality. She grew tired of ignoring her reality so during spring break she told her parents, and she was terrified but her parents took the news pretty well. Her mom told her she had suspected since she was a freshman in high school, and her dad told her he loved her no matter what. She knows what it feels like to not know if your parents will hate you after you share a part of yourself. She can’t imagine how Emily feels knowing her parents aren’t ok with it.

 

Emily’s silent during the drive back to her apartment and when they arrive she just changes into her pajamas and flops onto her bed.

 

“Babe, you wanna talk about it?” Kelley nudges her girlfriend who’s staring up at the ceiling. Emily shakes her head and wipes her eyes.

 

“I’m okay, I just need a minute.” She replies after a second. Kelley nods and lays down beside her.

 

Her brain is going at 100 miles per hour, she has always known that her parents are homophobic but sitting there at dinner with Kelley by her side her reality hit her like a truck. Everything in her life is going so great, she loves playing on the Thorns, she was getting call-ups to the national team, she is playing the best soccer of her life with Kelley by her side yet her parents won’t care about any of that once she comes out to them. Her thoughts are interrupted as her doorbell rings. Emily groans as she gets up from her bed to go answer the door. She’s surprised to see her dad standing outside her door, he holds up her jacket, “You left this.”

 

She laughs, “Thanks dad, I’m still as clumsy as ever.”

 

“Who is that babe?”

 

Emily hears Kelley’s voice and her face goes pale. Kelley’s eyes go wide as she turns to see Emily’s dad standing outside the door.

 

She knows right there and then that she’ll never forget the look of disgust on her dad's face.

___

 

It’s kind of a blur to her how things escalate so quickly. One second her dad’s yelling at Kelley about how she’s defiling his daughter and then all of the sudden he’s punching her. She yells at her dad to stop but he just shoves her back. Kelley stands there gritting her teeth cursing underneath her breath, she refuses to lay hands on him. Emily swears Lindsey’s never had better timing when she bursts through the doors with Tobin. 

 

“What the hell!” She's managed to kick Emily’s dad right where it hurts to most and while he’s grabbing at his pants she shoves him out the door and locks it.

 

Emily’s at Kelley’s side immediately, tears running down her face. “Oh my god, do you need to go to the hospital?”

 

The side of Kelley’s face is swelling up and her lips are bleeding. Lindsey rushes off into the bathroom to find their first aid kit. Her and Tobin help Kelley onto a chair while they inspect her injuries.

 

While Lindsey is patching Kelley up in the bathroom Tobin opens the door to see if Emily’s dad is still outside, she finds him sitting with his back against the wall right outside the apartment.

 

“You need to leave.” She growls out, Tobin knows that when tensions are high she should keep her cool instead of succumbing to anger, but all bets are off when someone hurts her best friend. He steams right up to her face; he wants a fight but she won't give him one, instead she shoves him away and threatens to call the cops if he doesn’t leave.

 

___

 

Kelley falls asleep pretty easily in her bed but Emily’s mind refuses to settle down. She slips quietly out of bed to grab some water but she sees Tobin sitting outside on her patio.

 

“Hey.”

 

Tobin looks surprised to see her out there. “Hey.” she pats the spot next to her.

 

“Thanks for getting him to leave.”

 

Tobin wraps an arm around her shoulder protectively, “Em, remember what I promised you when you first came on the team?”

 

Emily thought about it for a moment, “That you’d nutmeg me once every practice?”

 

Tobin rolls her eyes, “No! Well, yes. But I promised that I’ll always have your back no matter what.”

 

Emily’s silent, but Tobin continues, “Kelley told me everything, Emily I’m here for you ok kid?”

 

She nods biting her lips, trying to pretend tears weren’t threatening to spill down from her eyes but as soon as Tobin hugs her the waterworks just starts.

___

 If it's me  
And if it's you  
And if our love is wrong  
Then I don't ever wanna be right  
I don't ever wanna be right  
If it's real  
And if it's true  
And if our love is wrong  
Then I don't ever wanna be right  
I don't ever wanna be right

(If our love is wrong - Calum Scott)

___

 _It’s gonna be okay._ _It’s gonna be okay._

 _It's gonna be okay._ _It’s gonna be okay._

_Is it though?_


	6. Chapter 6

Kelley’s been discriminated against before, she’s gotten really good over the years at blocking out the hate with love. What she can’t process is how this can come from the man who took Emily to her first soccer game, taught her how to ride a bike, drive, swim, he’s supposed to love her unconditionally. It made her realize that she’s been in a safe bubble for so long she’s forgotten what the world is like. The world can be harsh and unforgiving and she’s not sure she can protect Emily from that. As soon as Emily’s dad saw her he made an observation, a casual assessment. Friend or Foe? And how do we make such a judgment? Clues to social class, to stage of life and group affiliations. At the same time, we judge who someone loves and uses that to judge what kind of person they are. She wishes she can understand how he can just ignore every good thing about Emily. How he can ignore Emily’s resiliency, her work ethic, and most of all her beautiful heart. That’s what Kelley finds the most beautiful about her girlfriend, her heart.  

 

And she never wants anyone to break it.

 

____

 

Tobin refuses to let Emily go talk to her parents alone. She drives her all the way to the hotel where her parents are staying and tells her 100 times that she’ll be sitting right outside in her car. Emily nervously sets off to find her parent’s room. She stares at the door and sighs before knocking. 

 

Her mother answers the door, the smile leaving her face as soon as she sees who it is, Emily’s heart sinks in her chest. 

 

“What do you want?” Her mother asks in an exasperated tone. 

 

Emily crosses her arms defensively, she is about to ask for her father when he shows up behind her mother. 

 

“How dare you show up here?” He snarls.

 

Words fly from her mouth that she would never think she could ever say to her dad. She knows instantly from the flash of hurt in his eyes that they hit the mark. In that instant, their relationship was too far gone for any hope of repairing. 

 

“What you did was beyond unacceptable, what happened to ‘Violence never solved anything. I came here to tell you to leave. Leave, I never want to see you again.” And with that, she walks angrily out of the room tears streaming down her face, but she’d never let them see that. 

 

She’d never let them know that she spent the night crying into Tobin’s shirt while Kelley slept in her bed. She’d never tell them that she grew up hating herself because of the way that they raised her. She’d never tell them about the nights when she wondered if it was easier to not exist at all.

 

_ They don’t deserve to know. _

 

Tobin holds her in the car, and she knows right there that family can be chosen, and she’s got a family that loves her and accepts her unconditionally. 

 

____

 

Kelley wraps her up in a tight embrace as soon as she returns to the apartment.  Her embrace was warm, and her big, strong arms seem very protective when they wrap around her. The world around them melts away as she squeezes her back, not wanting the moment to end. 

 

“I’m so sorry baby, I’m so so sorry,” Emily whispers out her breath hot against Kelley’s neck.

 

Kelley tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ears, “Don’t you dare apologize this is not your fault you hear me?”

 

The kiss obliterates every thought and doubt in Emily’s mind. She knows that they’ll make it through this storm. 

 

____

 

They facetime Moe during lunch and tell her everything that’s gone down in the past day. The girl is horrified, booking a ticket to Portland right away despite their protests. Kelley argues that she’s going to Utah in a few days anyways but Moe insists, apparently Chicago is on their bye week. Kelley’s eye stops swelling and she stays close by Emily’s side the whole day, not that she minds. Emily notices her staring at her more throughout the day as if she’d disappear if she looked away. She doesn’t point it out but makes a mental note in her head to ask her later.

 

Everything gets less hectic as the day winds down. Tobin and Lindsey are hosting a big party at Tobin’s house that kind of reminds Kelley of her college days. The couple decides to stay in considering what they had just gone through in the past 24 hours. Emily tries out a new lasagna recipe and almost sets off the fire alarm but it’s still delicious (although a bit crusty on top). 

 

They’re sitting on the patio leaning back in their chairs, their plates empty in front of them. The wind is blowing softly and the moon is clear like a glowing marble in the sky. She feels at home but Kelley’s staring at her as if she might disappear again. 

 

“What?” Emily nudges her knee snapping Kelley out of her trance. 

 

“What do you mean what?” 

 

“Why do you keep staring at me like I’m fragile.” 

 

Kelley knits her eyebrows together, “I don’t think you are fragile.”  

Emily slides her chair closer and grabs Kelley’s hand, “Then why? Talk to me, Kells.” 

 

Kelley sighs, “I forgot how harsh the world can be sometimes. I just don’t want to hurt you by being with you, and I don’t know if what happened yesterday changed your mind about us.” Emily’s heart breaks at the insecure girl in front of her. 

 

“Why would it ever change my mind about us? Ever since I met you I’ve felt more at home then I think I’ve ever felt. You make me feel something I don’t think I’ve ever felt Kelley. And I’m still figuring out what that is but I know that I’ve never felt this way about anyone, ever.”

 

Kelley presses a kiss to her cheek. “Promise?”

 

Emily bumps their forehead together and Kelley swears that she can count her freckles. “You really don’t see how special you are, do you?” Emily asks, like an afterthought. 

 

Kelley just kisses her with everything she’s got. 

  
  


____

 

Lindsey swears that Moe is the best thing that’s ever happened to their apartment. She’s full of energy so she cleans, everything. When Emily gets back from practice the apartment is spotless. The dishes are washed and dried, the floor is vacuumed, the random socks and shin guards that usually litters their floor are nowhere to be found. Lindsay swears that Moe waxed the counters, Emily thinks she’s delusional. 

 

Moe makes sure that Kelley ices her black eye every 2 hours (much to her dismay) and puts ointment on her lips. But most of all, she doesn’t tiptoe around Emily as Tobin and Lindsey have been for the past 2 days. She makes it known that she’s there to talk but other than that she treats this as a normal visit, and Emily is grateful because she’s not sure how much longer she can stand Tobin’s protectiveness (although Kelley finds it endearing).

 

Despite all of this Emily feels warm, she might not be okay for a while but she’s got her family and no matter what happens, it’s them against the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi:) I combined chapter 4 and 5 because I thought it flowed better that way.


	7. Chapter 7

 

The first day back at camp is the hardest. She goes into camp with a mindset that she’s going to prove she’s well enough to play again.  Everyone welcomes her back with open arms and even US Soccer borrows her during lunch to shoot a welcome back video. She’s nervous until it’s halfway through their first workout and her calves are on burning and it feels like home. It feels good when she pairs up with Alex for a partner drill and they rip through it like it’s nothing. Emily’s been keeping her distance, mainly hanging around Rose and Lindsey, nothing new. She misses her girlfriend and the most ironic part is, she’s right in front of her.

 

Becky and Alyssa decide to host movie nights in separate rooms. Those who want to watch Harry Potter will stay with Becky and those who want to watch the Incredibles head down to Alyssa’s room. Alex tries convincing her to stay and watch Harry Potter with her but Emily tugs on her sleeves and gives her puppy dog eyes and she’s gone. Kelley shoots Alex an apologetic look and Alex looks dumbfounded. She knows Alex will be annoyed but she can’t find it in her to really care right now. She hasn’t seen her girlfriend all day and when that happens Emily gets really clingy and soft, it’s secretly Kelley’s favorite thing in the world.

 

They volunteer to go get popcorn from the lobby to get some alone time. As soon as they get into the elevator Emily pulls her in for a long kiss.

 

“What was that for?” She pulls away breathlessly.

 

“I missed ya.”

____

 

Kelley has always been an overly affectionate person so no one thinks twice when she’s extra cuddly with Emily during movie night. Kelley’s leaned back against the headboard while Emily’s practically laying on her, her back snuggling against Kelley’s chest. It’s stupid but she hasn’t held Emily for months and she kinda wants to cry. By the end of the movie Emily’s sound asleep on her chest and Kelley’s playing with her hair. It kills her when she has to wake her up because everyone has started leaving.

 

“No, I just want to stay here,” Emily grumbles into her chest. Kelley lets out a hearty laugh, “Come on Em, don’t you wanna sleep in your bed?”

 

“Yea, with you,” Emily replies only loud enough for her to hear. Kelley checks to see that everyone has left and Alyssa’s in the bathroom before pressing an affectionate kiss on the top of her head.

 

“We have training tomorrow come on.”

 

Emily pouts as she climbs off Kelley’s chest and stands up by the bed stretching. She holds out her hand for Kelley to take and they walk up to their room together, taking the stairs to avoid any of their teammates.

____

 

Alex starts interrogating her the moment she steps foot into their room.

 

“What’s going on between you and Sonnett?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Come on Kells, you’re whipped, I’m your best friend I know when you’re whipped.” Alex looks at her with a bit of hurt and Kelley knows she has to tell her.

 

She sighs grabbing some clothes out of her bag. “Look, Emily’s not ready to be out yet.”

 

Alex squealed, “So there is something?!”

 

Kelley tries to hide the smile on her face but fails, “Yeah Al, there’s something.”

 

“I promise I won’t tell anyone,” Alex has the biggest grin on her face as she crosses her heart.

____

 

They play Portugal and they light the stadium on fire. Kelley knows that she’s probably not starting because the coaches had already talked to her about weaning her back slowly, but she still feels that pang of disappointment when she doesn’t even dress. It only lasts for half a second thought, because Emily’s playing in her spot and she’s so proud. Emily’s sympathetic and cheers her up on the ride to the stadium.

 

“You gonna score for me tonight?”

 

Emily smirks, “I don’t know, depends on what you’re gonna give me if I do.”

 

Kelley leans over her seat and whispers, “I guess either way I’m gonna score tonight.” she pulls back and smiles innocently at her girlfriend who looks like she had just seen a ghost.

 

Emily doesn’t score but 4 different players did. Alex got a brace, JJ got a diving header from Tobin’s beautiful corner in the 12th minute, 2 minutes later Tobin chipped the keeper, and Pinoe got herself a PK in the 78th minute. There was some misunderstandings between the defense, Abby was too far out of position causing Emily to cover for her throughout the whole game. She was like a rag doll getting thrown around all game and Kelley grit her teeth knowing there’s nothing she could do about it.

 

Kelley gets her stuff and heads down to the locker room, she waits patiently for everyone to finish signing. It’s a big stadium but after about 30 minutes, players start filing back into the locker room along with the coaching staff. Emily puts on a happy smile but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She decides to give the defender some space to cool off. She’s quiet during the bus ride back to the hotel, she’s always been one to internalize what she’s feeling.

 

It’s only 7 when they get back to the hotel, Jill told them on the bus that they had the rest of the night off to go explore as long as they were back by 12. When Kelley finishes her shower Rose and Lindsey are sitting on Alex’s bed.

 

“We wanted to go exploring but I think she’s having a rough time,” Rose explains.

 

Kelley nods pulling a shirt on, “You guys go, I think we just need a quiet night.”

 

Lindsey kisses her cheek on the way out, “Take care of her.”

 

___

 

She finds Emily sitting by the pool in her old Stanford hoodie. The one that Becky had handed her when Kelley was in the hospital, she never asked for it back, Emily looked better in it anyways.

 

“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”

 

Emily jumps a little as Kelley sits down next to her.

 

“I just want them to be proud.” She chokes out, her eyes watering.

 

Kelley grabs her hand, “Oh babe, who are you talking about?”

 

“My parents, I just want them to be proud, I just want them to-,” the words don’t make it to her mouth as she starts crying.

 

Emily buries her head in Kelley’s shoulder. Her fingers curl into the fabric, not clasping it tightly, but just enough to reassure her that she was still there. She lets her cry it out before wiping her tears away and pressing a kiss on her forehead.

 

“Baby, I know you wish that things were different and it hurts. I’m proud of you, I’m so fucking proud of you. You played like a champ today don’t doubt yourself.”

 

Emily searches Kelley’s eyes and sees nothing but goodness and love. “I think I love you.” She blurts out. Kelley smiles is so big that Emily swears it’s brighter than all of the stars in the sky. “I know I love you.” She answers pressing their foreheads together, “I’ve known it from the moment I met you.”

 

“We’ll get through this storm together, I promise.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONG SUGGESTION: Hell by Chelsea Cutler

  


They both know that Emily has some unresolved feelings about her parents that she needs to work through, but they don’t talk about it. For the first time, Kelley really has no idea where she stands in all of this. She doesn’t want to push Emily to open up if she’s not ready but at this point, she’s not sure Emily can work through this on her own. If she put herself in her girlfriend’s shoes she’s positive that she’d be losing it. Having a happy family behind you your whole life and then suddenly they abandon you because of who you are. The people who are supposed to keep you safe and protect you turning around and stabbing you in the back. She knows that those feelings have probably been there a while but having them tumble out during camp is just bad timing. On top of that, having to hide their relationship from everyone but a select few is probably fueling the fire. They have 1 day until their next game against Scotland and Emily’s laughs sound more forced and she’s quieter. Kelley doesn’t really know what to do or say except to be there and love her.

 

They’re sitting at lunch after a killer workout session with Dawn. Everyone’s piling food onto their plates and groaning every time they have to sit down. Alex claims that she doesn’t really feel the soreness until she drops her fork and picks it back up, it took her like 2 minutes to recover from having to use her abs. Emily and Lindsey are dramatically telling Kelley and Rose and story that Kelley’s pretty sure is very exaggerated. Nevertheless, she’s happy because Emily’s genuinely laughing her head off as she struggles to tell the rest of the story because it’s too funny. Rose rolls her eyes as Lindsey and Emily topple over laughing, “They never finish this story,” She grumbles.

 

“Wait, wait, you haven’t heard the best part,” Emily’s about to continue when Lindsey looks at them and both of them start laughing again.

 

Alex, who was in a conversation with Allie turns around and nudges Kelley. “You want to get some coffee after lunch? We haven’t caught out in a while.” She asks hopefully.

 

Kelley smiles, “That sounds great.”

 

_____

 

They end up at a quiet enchanting cafe a few blocks away from their hotel. It’s peaceful and Kelley has missed hanging out with Alex.

 

“Tell me everything,” Alex says right as they sit down at a corner of the cafe.

 

“Well,” Kelley starts, “Getting shot made me realize how short life is and how easily it can be taken from us. So, the morning after we got home and we were watching the sunrise together on the roof of my parent's house I kissed her. It’s kinda cliche I know.”

 

Alex grins like a puppy, urging Kelley to continue.

 

“I love her, like more than I think I’ve ever loved anyone. God, Alex you should see her eyes when the sun hits them just right or the way that she sings along to songs while making dinner cause she doesn’t think anyone’s watching, and I’m rambling sorry.”

 

Alex clutches her heart and fakes a gag, “You’re so whipped, Awh my KellBell is in love.”

 

“Yea well, she makes it easy.”

 

______

 

When she gets back to the hotel she finds Emily napping in her bed. Kelley’s heart skips a beat seeing her girlfriend adorably curled up around her pillow. She quietly plugs her phone in and removes the pillow from Emily’s arms. Emily wakes up and looks at her groggily and frowns, “Why’d you take away my comfiness?”

 

Kelley laughs, “I thought that since I’m here now you wouldn’t need a replacement cuddle buddy.” She crawls under the covers and opens her arms. Emily burrows her face in Kelley’s neck and her fingers grab onto the back of her shirt.

 

“How was coffee with Alex?” Her voice muffles in Kelley’s neck but it’s comprehensible.

 

“I told her about us,” Kelley admits not sure if she crossed a line.

 

Emily surprises her by laughing, “I think she already knew,” Kelley smiles, “Yea me too,”

 

She adjusts her back to get comfortable and wraps her arms tighter around Emily, savoring the warmth.

 

“Let’s take a nap.” She says and the only reply she gets is Emily’s soft snores against her skin.

____

 

The morning of game day Emily gets a call from her sister telling her that she’s going to the game with their parents. Emily’s pretty sure her sister doesn’t know what happened so she just acts normal. Kelley’s by her side as her sister sounds overexcited over speakerphone.

 

“You’re gonna get through this, I promise.” She reassures her.

 

Emily nods kissing her, “I’ll have you by my side.”

 

“And Tobin, and Lindsey, and Alex, and Moe, baby girl you have your family behind you,” Kelley whispers pressing a kiss behind her ear.

 

“I love you,” Emily says looking at her gratefully. Honestly, she’s not quite sure what she’s ever done right to deserve someone as pure as Kelley. Every time she thinks that she can’t possibly fall more in love, Kelley proves her wrong.

 

She doesn’t expect the fire that ignites in her chest when she spots her parents in the box. She’s on the bench the first half and watching the game helps get her mind off of it but it still rubs her the wrong way. When Jill subs her in the second half for Kelley she makes sure to hug her longer than needed before jogging on the field. The defense is pretty solid compared to last game with Becky’s calm voice guiding her but the Scotland striker finds ways to step on her toes and push her buttons. She tries to keep calm but when she fouls Lindsey and the ref doesn’t call it, Emily goes in for a hard tackle that leaves the striker fuming.

 

“What the fuck was that?” Jane Ross gets off the ground and stalks towards Emily.

 

“You’ve been playing dirty all game,” Emily squares up and pushes her. Jane pushes back but before she can do anything Becky is grabbing her arm as the ref raises up two red cards.

 

“Go, get off the field and clear your mind Sonnett,” Becky says sternly gently pushing her towards the sidelines. She avoids Kelley’s eyes as she subs back in for her and sits down grumpily next to Carli on the bench.

 

Carli hands her a water and pats her on the back, “What’s on your mind kid?”

 

Emily shrugs, “She’s been playing dirty, I took an aggressive foul and lost my temper,” she hands Carli the water back, “Please don’t lecture me, the coaches probably will later,”

 

Carli just chuckles, “I’m not gonna, we all have those moments,”

 

They sit in silence watching the rest of the gameplay out, the US finishes out 2-0 with a goal from Mal and Alex in the second half. It wasn’t a great game, but they got the job done.

 

____

 

Kelley lets Emily cool down before approaching her worriedly. The coaches pulled Emily aside after the game to talk to her and she came back looking upset.

 

“Are you mad?” Emily asks her in a small voice as Kelley sits down beside her in front of Sam’s locker.

 

“I’m not mad love, I just thought you could’ve handled it better,” Kelley puts her hand on Emily's thigh to reassure her.

 

“Was it your parents being here?”

 

Emily looks down at her feet, “I didn’t expect to feel that mad,”

 

Kelley squeezes her knee, “Do you want to see Emma? Cause she’s outside of the locker room right now.”

 

Emily’s head shoots up at the mention of her twin’s name. She nods and Kelley points her in the direction of the door.

 

Kelley walks back over to her stuff while Emily goes and have a private moment with her sister.

 

“She okay?” Tobin asks when she sits back down and starts to change back into her regular clothes. Kelley shrugs, “Emma brought her parents to the game because they haven’t told them how shitty they’ve been,”

 

“Oh shit,” Tobin replies. “I’m not letting her anywhere near them alone,” She promises Kelley.

 

Kelley smiles gratefully at her friend, “Neither am I,”

 

_____

 

Emily’s in a surprisingly ok mood on the way back to the hotel. She’s happy that she got to see her sister after so long. Kelley’s quiet for a while before she shares what she’s thinking.

 

“When you get back to Portland, do you think it would be nice to go talk to someone maybe?”

 

Emily looks at her confusingly, “What, like a shrink?”

 

Kelley nods, “I’ll go with you if you want,” she intertwines their fingers together.

 

Emily leans her head on her shoulders, “I can try,”

 

“Pinky promise?”

 

“Pinky promise.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this chapter longer and more feelings-based because the last few have been really fillers for the story while I was busy. I needed to address somethings with this chapter and I hoped it did that. :) Also please comment down below things you like and things you wish I can change about this story cause it's hard to know if I'm completely failing without feedback!! Happy reading and happy late holidays!

  
  


Moe calls her every week to check in on her making sure that she’s doing good and Emily will tell her about her week. It feels pleasant to talk about things outside of soccer, for so long that’s all her life revolved around and she felt like it was impossible to have a conversation without bringing it up. Kelley’s been staying with her in Portland since it’s off-season and the holidays are just around the corner. Every Thursday afternoon Kelley accompanies her to talk to Dr. Porter. It’s been helping to share her insecurities and anxieties with someone. It’s also a safe space for Kelley to ask any questions about what to do if Emily has an extremely bad day. Kelley’s becoming so integrates into her life so easily that suddenly it’s like she doesn’t know anything else. She doesn’t know a morning where Kelley doesn’t try to sneak out of bed to go on a run with Tobin, leaving her a cute note on the nightstand with the promise to bring her back some coffee. Her favorite thing to do is show Kelley around Portland, the coffee shops, the sunset spots, and where to get the best avocado toast. On some Sundays, she and Lindsey will tag along with Kelley and Tobin on their 3-hour drive out to surf. Lindsey complains the whole way there that she’s tired but Emily knows its secretly her favorite day of the week. Those days end with the four of them playing soccer on the beach until the sun goes down. On other Sundays Kelley and Tobin will attempt to get them up but they’ll refuse to go instead Lindsey curls up next to her on the couch with a cup of coffee and a fluffy blanket. Sundays are becoming her favorite day. 

 

The week before Thanksgiving the apartment is really quiet. Lindsey had left the weekend before to fly home to Colorado to be with her family. Tobin swings by sometimes but most of the time her and Christen are off exploring somewhere. Kelley had asked her a while ago if she wanted to spend Thanksgiving with her, she agreed, it’s not like she had other options. She’s kind of excited to go back to visit the O’Hara’s the last time she had been there, they had begun to feel like family. And plus, more extra time with Kelley is also a bonus. They’re at the airport waiting to board when Kelley brings up Emma. 

 

“Have you told your sister?”

 

Emily was busy shoving her jacket back into her Thorns backpack. “What? That I’m not going home for Thanksgiving, or ever?” 

  
“No, have you told her why?” Kelley asks. 

 

Emily sighs and runs her hands through her hair. She hasn’t told her sister anything about what had happened. At the game, she had just pretended that everything was fine. Every time she tries to work up the courage to tell her she chickens out. It’s stupid because she didn’t even do anything wrong, but how do you tell your sister,  _ hey sorry dad punched my girlfriend so I’m never going home again. _

 

Kelley’s hand on her thigh snaps her out of thought. She shakes her head, “I just don't know how to bring it up.”

 

Kelley tells her to take her time to figure it out. Emily decides to not dwell on it, she’d figure it out later.

  
  


______

  
  


The crisp, white snow has smothered summer bringing in winter. Winters in Georgia are the best out of all the places that Emily’s been. As kids, fresh-fallen snow only meant one thing to her and Emma - A snowball fight. They would bundle up with layers of hoodies, coats, scarves, then head outside to the backyard where they start building forts on either side. After the forts were built and each twin collects enough snow, the fight begins. The coldness of the snow seeps under their mittens and chills their fingers to a point where they’re numb. But cold or not, a snowball fight is a snowball fight and they don’t give in until someone surrenders and they scurry inside and peel off all the layers to sip on some hot chocolate. She tries hard to keep it together when Kelley’s mom wraps her up in a tight hug as soon as she steps into the door. The house smells like Pumpkin pie and warm cedar, like home. She’s overwhelmed with emotions as Kelley’s family welcomes her back home with open arms. 

 

It’s late when they arrive because their flight was delayed by 2 hours. It had taken them forever to get into the air because of the winter storms hitting Portland. Erin helps them settle down in Kelley’s old bedroom the three of them stay up talking until their eyes are drooping and Emily stops trying to hold back her yawns. Erin goes back to her room, unable to talk any longer and Kelley curls up with Emily on her twin bed (it’s a tight squeeze).

 

Kelley has trouble falling asleep that night, she knows that the holidays are probably a painful reminder to Emily. She also knows that Emily’s been making loads of progress with Dr. Porter outwarding sharing her feelings instead of shutting down like she usually does. She doesn’t think that she’s ever loved anyone quite this much. 

 

She loves the way that Emily’s nose crinkles when she laughs or the way that she gets so focused when she’s watching a soccer game. She loves the way that Emily’s attentive, but not in one of those overbearing hovering ways, but somehow she always knows that Kelley needs. She loves the way that Emily sleepily wakes up to go to watch her surf even though half the times she falls asleep. She loves the way that Emily loves everyone to fiercely, even if that makes her more vulnerable. She can probably write a book about all the things she loves about Emily Sonnett, so why can’t she say those three very simple words back?

 

The first time that Emily said it to her by the pool, she said it back. But ever since, it’s like the words disappear before they make it to her mouth. She knows she’s just afraid of getting hurt, or worse, hurting Emily, but the hurt in her girlfriend's eyes when she brushes it off stings like an open wound. Emily deserves love and Kelley loves her. 

 

_ She loves her.  _ She closes her eyes and lets out a small breath,  _ she loves her and it’s worth the risk of getting hurt because she can’t imagine living in a world where she doesn’t love her. _

 

Kelley pulls Emily closer and kisses her forehead, her girlfriend mutters something incomprehensible. She smiles and closes her eyes, letting her mind focus on this moment, and slip away to a peaceful slumber. 

 

______

 

Kelley sneaks out of bed early to go on a jog mentally preparing herself for the hectic day ahead. Every year her extended family has a tradition of spending Thanksgiving at their house. She loves seeing all her aunts, uncles, and cousins, but this year she wasn’t sure if Emily was ready to face the craziness of the O’Hara family. Then again, if Em could handle Thanksgiving at Heather O’Reilly’s house with the whole team, she’s positive she can handle this. She shudders at the memory of Alex and Abby getting hammered and Tobin going around smacking everyone’s butt, obviously drunk off her ass. That night, Emily awkwardly hung around Mal and Hope, they all sipped on their sodas and talked in the corner. 

 

When she gets back to the house her mom’s making breakfast in the kitchen.

 

“Hi honey, go get changed and wake up everyone, I made you guys some pancakes.”

 

“Yum,” she kisses her mom on the cheek as she walks past her to go upstairs. She changes into a simple outfit, ripped jeans with a yellow sweater she bought in Utah a while back. She has to drag Emily out of bed before knocking annoyingly on her sister’s door. 

 

The fact that they are still on west coast time is evident as she and Emily drink 3 cups of coffee (her dad cuts them off when they reach for a fourth). 

 

It’s a relaxing morning, they have until 4 before they have to start getting ready for the guests to come over. Kelley plays a very one-sided game of 1-on-1 with her dad in the backyard while Emily sits with Kelley’s mom on the deck and watches them. 

 

“I’ve never seen her this happy,” Karen points to Kelley laughing her head off with her dad.

 

Emily’s heart warms, “You think so?” 

 

Karen nods, “You’re good for her Emily, I’m so glad your apart of the family honey, especially after everything that happened this year, I just want you to know that your parents may not be there for you but we all are okay?”

 

She turns and smiles gratefully, tears in her eyes. “You have no idea how much that means to me,”

 

Karen wraps her up in a tight hug, “I really hope she marries you someday,”

 

“I hope so too,”


	10. Chapter 10

Emily loves Kelley’s family, like really loves her family. She loves her aunt Jackie who seem to have one embarrassing story after another, she loves her little cousins who drag her out to play a game of pick up with them, she loves Erin, who has been making her feel like family since day 1, and she loves Kelley’s brother who jokes around with her like he’s known her all his life. The BBQ goes off without a hitch and when Kelley introduces Emily to her grandmother with a proud look on her face, she tears up at just how welcoming this damn family is. 

 

Her grandmother of course, loves Emily as soon as she meets her. She tells Emily that they better get started on the family making, “I don’t have forever,” she says throwing Kelley (whose face turned bright red) a wink. Emily just nods and laughs, “One day we’ll get there,” 

 

“Come on babe I have a present for you,” Kelley laughs grabbing Emily’s hand, excusing them from the living room before leading her towards the porch. Before they get there she wraps her hands around Emily’s eyes, leading her blind.

 

“Babe, what are you doing,”

 

“Just trust me, stay right here with your eyes closed, don’t move,” Kelley says a hint of mischief in her voice. Emily wants to be suspicious but she decides to trust her girlfriend. A few seconds pass and she hears the door creak and the screen door slam.

 

“Babe, how long am I gonna stand here?”She asks impatiently.

 

There was a moment of silence, “Wow, so impatient,” a voice said, it took a second for Emily to register the familiar voice. She turns around and opens her mouth but no words come out instead she runs over and buries her face into Emma’s neck and starts sobbing. Kelley’s heart breaks at the sight but Emma shoots her a grateful smile and mouths a ‘thank you’. She walks back into the house to give them some privacy. 

 

About 2 days ago she secretly called Emma and explained everything that had happened in the past few months. Emily’s twin had been shocked and angry at her parents but Kelley asked her if she wanted to drive down during Thanksgiving and surprise her sister, of course she said yes. 

 

Emily couldn’t believe her sister was actually here with her. 

 

They have never spent a Thanksgiving or birthday apart from each other, even that one time there was a camp during Thanksgiving and Emily flew out just to have Thanksgiving dinner with her. 

 

“Shhh, Kelley told me what happened.” Emma rocks her sister back a forth rubbing her hand up and down her back. Emily is still crying but her breathing is calmer as she pulls away and wipes her eyes, feeling a little bit of embarrassment, she’s not usually an emotional person.

 

“I love you,” She says pulling her sister in for another hug.

 

“Are you going to have dinner with us?” Emily asks nervously as if her sister was going to disappear  She lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding when Emma nods and wraps an arm protectively around her waist and gestured at the door. 

 

“You should go thank your girl, she’s a keeper,” 

 

Emily smiles, “She really is,” she kisses her sister on the cheek before pulling the door open, “Go find Erin, I’ll catch up with you in a bit,” 

 

She finds Kelley sitting on the stairs, scrolling through her Instagram. She sits down by her bumping their shoulders together. Kelley locks her phone and slides it back into her pocket.

 

“Thank you,” Emily starts but Kelley cuts her off with a kiss. Emily cocks her head to the side, “What was that for?” 

 

Kelley grins tucking a piece of hair behind her ears, “You never have to thank me for anything baby,” 

 

“I love you,” Emily kisses Kelley temple and interlocks her hands, they stand up together. Kelley starts pulling Emily away from the party when Emily stops her.

 

“Kells?”

 

Kelley looks back at her, “Yea?”

 

“You know if you’re not ready to say it back it’s okay right?” 

 

Kelley lets out a breath, “Come here,” She caresses Emily’s face gently and presses kisses all over.

 

“I know I love you, but it terrifies me to say those words and I’m really working on it, the last time I said them to someone it didn’t end well, and I know this time it’s different but I just need some time.” 

 

She sees the insecurity in Kelley’s eyes as if she’s afraid she just blew it.

 

Emily nods she guides their interlocked hands to her chest, “You feel that?”

 

Kelley laughs, “I would be worried if I didn’t feel your heartbeat you goof,”

 

Emily rolls her eyes, “Yea, it’s my heart, and it also loves you, no matter what, even if you’re not ready to love me back or say it, or anything, it still loves you and nothing’s going to change that.” 

 

Kelley melts at her words, an enormous smile stays on her face as they return to the party. Kelley’s mom’s helping out in the kitchen with Emma and Erin, who are bickering like sisters more than helping. Her brother pulls Emily away to go get the tables from the attic to set up for the guests and she joins her dad in a trip to the liquor store for some wine. 

 

After dinner when they take family photos and Kelley’s parents insist her and Emma were part of the family she shot her twin a glance and all she saw in her eyes were adoration. While everyone finds their place for the photo Emma whispers in her ear, “You’re gonna marry her someday aren’t you?” 

 

She’s never smiled so big in a picture before.

 

New post by @EmilySonnett: Cheers!

Tagged: @Emmasonnett @Kelleyohara @Erinohara

 

Emma stays with them a few days before heading over to celebrate the holidays with her boyfriend’s family. She had told her parents not to expect her back home until they apologized to Kelley for what they did to her and got their head screwed on right about Emily. They meet up with Moe to go to an MLS game in Atlanta. Days in Georgia are slow and everything that Emily loves. It reminds her of when she took care of Kelley and it felt like home. They’re very synced and she finds herself loving simple tasks like doing the laundry and running errands because Kelley’s by her side. She hated doing laundry in Portland and it may have something to do with the fact that the freckled girl wasn’t there to steal kisses from her and crack dumb jokes that Emily secretly found funny. 

 

Not having to drive four hours to a surf spot was a plus but she still loves getting up before the sun to go watch Kelley surf, on rare occasions Erin will join her on the beach. Above all, she makes sure that Kelley knows she loves her. Kelley loves that Emily says it as a statement, not expecting anything back. It makes her fall all over again over how patient Emily is with her. The words really have been on the tip of her tongue for days but she wants it to be perfect and the timing hasn’t been right. So when Emily asks her if she wants to go  shooting at 2 in the morning she knows it’s the perfect time. They shoot around for fun under the stars and the warm breeze of Georgia (despite it being winter)eventually they collapse together in the middle of the field both breathless at how beautiful the sky was and just how small they were in the universe. Kelley plays with a strand of Emily’s hair deep in thought. 

 

“Penny for your thought?” Emily interlocks their fingers, her thumb grazing over her knuckles. Kelley smiles softly and for a moment she looks shy under the moonlight. 

 

“I love you.” She whispers and Emily looks at her in amazement. “You do?”

 

Kelley nods and kisses her.

 

“You and your stupid avocado toast addiction.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Favorite lines?


	11. Chapter 11

They spend Christmas and Thanksgiving in bliss and by the time that January camp rolls around it hit Emily that she only has a few weeks with Kelley before they have to go back to their separate lives. She’s gotten used to seeing Kelley every few weeks with Kelley still being hurt. They fly back to Utah so that Kelley can grab some of her stuff for camp, it’s the first time that Emily’s been in her new apartment. It’s a wide space with minimalist furnishing and decor, simple just like Kelley. Kelley introduces her to her succulent plants, Billy, Tim, and Fred. They go out to dinner with some of her teammates before heading to the airport the next morning with Becky and Amy in tow.  

 

Rose is so happy to see Emily that as soon as they arrive at the hotel she drags her, Lindsey, and Mal to the nearest Cafe near the hotel to catch up. Lindsey orders for them in her broken French it takes a lot of nodding and pointing for the barista to understand what they’re insinuating. 

 

They talk about any and everything. From Lindsey becoming MVP to Rose and Mal’s antics in Washington. Lindsey teases Mal about her blooming relationship and Mal teases Lindsay about her lack of one. It reminds Emily of that one time Lindsey and Mal took them all skiing in Colorado. She had taken a few tumbles down the mountain due to a lack of experience skiing (she was a surfer after all) but it was one of her favorite trips of all time. 

 

They walk back to the hotel just in time for team lunch at the dining hall. She scans the room for Kelley and finds her already eating by Alex and Allie so she gets her food and plops down next to Tobin and Lindsey. 

 

After lunch, Dawn gets everyone in the grove of camp by splitting them up for a scrimmage. Emily lands on a team with Abby, Crystal, Christen, Alex, Ashlyn, and Moe. They huddle up and go over the game plans for a few minutes before taking the field with fires in their eyes. 

 

_ There’s no way Emily’s letting Tobin or anyone else score on them today. _

 

Her team only wins by a narrow margin but a win is a win and so they get the ice bath first. Overall it’s a long day and by the time that her head hits her pillow she’s out like a light.

 

For Kelley it’s a whole different story. Earlier, after they got to the hotel, she had chatted with Ashlyn in the lobby and she can’t seem to shake something she said. 

 

Ashlyn had sounded so happy with the way that Ali and her were settling down in Orlando and Kelley can’t help but want the same thing for her and Emily. She knows that their relationship is only starting to move away from the honeymoon phrase (although not much is different she’s still head over heels for her) but she’s also seen so many relationships fall apart with the distance. 

 

After dinner, she excuses herself from her and Alex’s room and she somehow stumbles her way on the roof. It’s a breathtaking view looking over La Havre. Kelley finds herself staring in amazement, her hands warm inside of Emily’s UVA sweatshirt that she snuck into her suitcase before they left. She pulls out her phone and sends her family a picture of the skyline before tucking her phone back into her pockets.

She knows that she loves Emily but it terrifies her to screw up. She loves everything about Emily but with everything about her parents she doesn’t want Emily to only be with her to prove her parents wrong. She decides to keep her distance until she works this out in her head. She doesn’t want this to crash and burn like her last relationship. 

 

___

 

The following day, they’re split up for most of the training so it gives her time to think, not that she can think much with Dawn’s killer workout. At lunch, Emily tries to sit by her but Allie slides in just in time and drags her out to grab an acai bowl. Emily looks a little confused and hurt but she shakes it off and follows Allie. Then again at dinner, she makes sure to strategically place Julie next to her, this time she’s pretty sure that Emily got the message. 

 

After dinner, Tobin corners her in the staircase.

 

“What the hell are you doing?”

 

Kelley asks like she has no idea what her friend is insinuating, “What do you mean?”

 

She’s only seen Tobin mad three times in her life, once when they lost in Rio, after Emily’s dad punched her, and now. 

 

“Why are you avoiding your girlfriend?” 

 

Kelley gulps, “you don’t understand,”

 

Tobin takes a breath as if calming herself down. “Kells, I know you, and whatever insecurity you’re having right now, it needs to stop, because she’s not your ex and she’s not going to walk away and give up on you.”

 

“Everyone does that, you can’t promise me that.” And with that, she pushes past Tobin and walks into her room slamming the door behind her. 

 

____

 

Emily doesn’t understand why Kelley’s suddenly giving her the cold shoulder. Had she done something wrong? Did she say something that made Kelley feel uncomfortable or did she cross a line? 

 

She decides to go confront Kelley in her room, after all,  _ the key to a relationship is communication right? _

 

It takes a few seconds before Kelley answers the door and she finds herself silently staring at her. For some reason, she feels the urge to cry, it’s probably just the exhaustion hitting her.

 

“Hey,” Kelley says quietly.

 

Emily crosses her arms, “What did I do wrong?”

 

Kelley can see the hurt evident in her eyes she takes a step towards Emily and places her hand gently on her crossed arms.

 

“Nothing,”

 

Emily shakes her hand off coldly, “then why?”

 

Kelley shakes her head, she can feel the tears coming but refuses to break,”I-I-just,” 

 

“Do you regret me, is this what it’s about?” Emily’s voice is shaky.

 

She opens her mouth the speak but nothing comes out. Emily shakes her head, “You know what forget it. I don’t know what happened to my girlfriend, find me when you find her.” With that, she storms out the room.

 

Kelley closes her door defeatedly, she turns around and sees Alex sitting on her bed with a questioning look. 

 

“Why are you closing off Kell-Bell?” Alex pats the spot next to her, Kelley sits down next to her and rests her head on her shoulders. 

 

“What if the distance breaks us?” 

 

“What if it doesn’t?” She continues, “I know you think that everything’s going to crash and burn like last time but Kelley? Emily’s not like her okay? This is Emily Sonnett we’re talking about. The girl who stayed with you while you were recovering from a gunshot wound? The girl who mentions you at least twice in every sentence. Dude! She’s not even a morning person but she gets up with you at the crack of dawn to watch you surf. She's heads over heels for you,”

 

“What if she’s not?” Kelley mutters.

 

Alex knocks on her head lightly, “These are insecurities that you should be voicing to her, not internalizing them,” 

 

She drags Kelley towards the door, “Go talk to her, I’m not letting you back into our room until you talk to her,”

 

____

 

She finds Emily downstairs sitting at the coffee bar in the lobby reading a book. Kelley approaches her silently and sits down next to her. Emily pretends not to notice her but her eyes dart up from her book for a second before continuing to pretend she wasn’t there.

 

“I’m sorry,” She says, she grabs Emily’s book from her and bookmarks it. The girl wasn’t really reading it anyways. 

 

Emily looks at her a little annoyed, “then why’d you avoid me all day?” 

 

Kelley intertwines their hands and kisses the back of Emily’s. It surprises her when Emily doesn’t pull away. 

  
“I was scared and insecure, and instead of acting like an adult I acted like a 12 year old,” She see’s Emily’s expressions soften.

 

Emily reaches over and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear and traces down the outline of her jaw. “Baby, did I make you feel insecure?” 

 

Kelley shakes her head, “It’s something I have to work through, it’s not you, god Em you’re so perfect for me,” 

 

Emily looks at her softly and she feels the annoyance leave her chest.

 

“I’ve been dying to kiss you all day,”

 

Kelley looks around to confirm that none of her teammates are in the lobby and most of the staff is gone too. She tilts her head teasingly, “So why don’t you?”

 

The warmth of Emily’s soft lips melts her insecurities (for the moment). To outsiders it may look weird but Kelley slides off the bar chair and snakes her arms around Emily’s waist, her head tucks in below her chin. Emily kisses the top of her head and sways them around eyeing the clock on the wall.

 

“Come on love, it’s getting late,” She tries to unwrap her arms but Kelley just tightens her hold on her.

 

“Take me to lunch tomorrow?” She asks lifting her head to look at Emily.

 

Emily smiles at her, “Yeah, we’ll talk about everything.” She kisses Kelley chastely and sticks out her pinky.

 

“I love you,”

 

Kelley looks at her in awe, “I love you too, you dork.” Pinky promise? Pinky promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to end chapters on Angst, even though everything isn't worked out yet.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you noticed their thing is pinky promises?

Things are a little tense the next day but after their morning training, Emily smothers her with kisses when their alone in the elevator and takes her out for some coffee. She doesn’t feel deserving of the affection her girlfriend is showing her even after she hurt her yesterday. They make their way to the cafe that Kelley maps out on her phone, it takes a few wrong turns to get there but surely they do. This time Emily’s smart enough to google translate their order although the barista still got her order slightly off. It didn’t matter though, nothing could bother her right now, because Emily was holding her hand in public and she’s never done that before. Emily senses her uneasiness and squeezes her hand reassuringly.  

 

They sit down in a park, the air around them is chilly but Emily’s sitting so close to her that she can feel her body temperature. 

 

“What’s on your mind pretty girl?” Emily asks smoothly, she’s been studying Kelley for a while now and she can tell that she’s processing a lot of things.

 

“I was scared that after camp, we’re gonna go back to our lives and the distance is just gonna break us in two,” Kelley admits.

 

Emily intertwines their hands and puts it in her pocket, “Nothing can break us if we don’t let it, you just gotta tell me when you’re feeling these insecurities,” 

 

Kelley looks down, she knows that avoiding Emily was selfish and childish but it had felt like the right move at first. “I promise,” she pulls her hand out of Emily’s coat pocket and sticks out her pinky. Emily looks at it for a second before joining their pinkies together. 

 

“Come on,” Emily holds her hand out for Kelley to take, “We should be getting back before people ask where we are,” 

 

The walk back is quiet but the tension is evidently gone as they bump shoulders all the way back to the hotel. Alex, Tobin, and Allie are all in Kelley’s room when Emily walks her back, they’re laying on the ground playing an intense game of Monopdeal. Alex doesn’t have time to interrogate her but she does shoot a smirk her way. Kelley just rolls her eyes and continues looking through her bag trying to find a clean shirt before walking into the bathroom to shower. 

 

It turns out that their shower drain is broken and Kelley has to hold the drain open, her hair still dripping wet. She’s shivering by the time the last bit of water leaves the tub/shower. Alex looks at her with amuse when she walks out half-naked, muttering about calling the lobby. 

 

“I forgot to tell you it was broken,” 

 

Kelley glares at her best friend who was looking way too amused for someone who ‘forgot to tell her’.

 

“Anyways, how did coffee go with Sonny?” 

  
  


“We worked it out,” Kelley was working through her tangly wet hair with a comb. 

 

Alex looks at her suspiciously, “You sure?”

 

Kelley gives her a small smile, “Yea, I think that we did,”

 

________

 

Logically, she knows it’s not Alex’s fault when she looks down in the Ice Bath and finds that her shorts say 16 instead of 5 but she still throws an Ice cube at her for not noticing. Tobin bursts out laughing when she sees a giant 16 next to the Thorns logo. 

 

“Is this your way of being discreet,” Tobin teases her.

  
Kelley just hides her face in her palms, “I should’ve checked before putting it on,” she groans. She feels someone climb into the bath with them, “What are we talking about here?” 

 

She looks up to see Emily climbing in with Lindsey in tow. Tobin and Alex practically topple over laughing pointing at Kelley’s shorts. 

 

Lindsey and Emily join them a second later and Kelley’s face is 7 shades redder than anyone’s ever seen it. If it wasn’t so funny, it’d be concerning how red her face was. She feels Emily waddle her way next to her a giant smile on her face.

 

“It looks better on you anyways,” She says quiet enough only for the two of them to hear.

 

Her friends on the other side...to say the least, she hops out as soon as the stopwatch hits 15. 

 

“At least I didn’t wear the wrong shorts on camera,” She winks at Tobin and grabs her towel. 

 

“Oooof, Tobin’s gonna need some time to recover after that burn,” Lindsey teases and Tobin shoves an Ice cube down her shirt. Someone walking by would probably assume that there’s a murder in the making. 

 

Her teammates are literal children but she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

 

________

 

Her heart skips about 7 beats when Emily kisses her goodnight in her cardinal red Stanford hoodie.

 

“You ever gonna give that back?” 

  
Emily’s face is serious when she looks down at her hoodie, “Are you kidding me?” She asks scoffing, “Of course not, Becky gave it to me, with her own two hands, so no I’m keeping it,”

 

Kelley leans in closer, Emily’s eyes flicker down to her lips, “You sure that’s the only reason?”

 

Emily pretends to lean in for a kiss but pulls away the last second, “Guess now you’ll never know,” she winks at her and walks away, leaving Kelley speechless.

 

________

 

Kelley gets her first start since the shooting against France and Emily’s on the bench but she’s cheering so loud that it’s like she’s right beside her. Becky was, of course, a calm presence throughout the game getting her back on track. They win 2-1, it’s not ideal but nevertheless, it’s a win and they’ll take winning over losing any day. Emily and Mal watch incredulously from the bench as Tobin and Rose score the two goals back-to-back within 6 minutes of each other, whenever Rose and Tobin play together it’s like magic happens.  

 

The second game goes a little like the first one except Emily replaces her girlfriend in the second half. Kelley’s disappointed that the coaching staff takes her off but she proudly hugs Emily and takes a seat next to Christen on the bench. 

 

“Is she a fucking magician?” Christen mutters as Tobin scores her 2nd goal of the night from outside the 18.

 

Kelley pulls her penny over her head and takes a sip of water, “I don’t know you tell me Pressy,”

 

They watch the game in silence but it reminds Kelley of the good ole days at Stanford. It hits her that if you someone had told her 20-year-old self that she’d be sitting here next to Christen Press and they were finally good after everything that happened, she’d laugh right in their face and tell them to get lost. 

 

Christen notices Kelley’s eyes following the game, but the only player her eyes are trained on is Emily. She takes a breath and leans in, “I don’t want what I did to mess up what you have with her,”

 

Kelley opens her mouth to protest but Christen shushes her, “We were young and dumb Kells, you were my first love and I knew that, but I made myself a promise that we were gonna win Nationals that year and I didn’t want us to affect the team chemistry.” 

 

“So you did love me?”

 

Christen nods, “I did. And I still do, even though it’s not in the same way, God knows I’m head over heels for Tobin but Kelley? I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you that sooner.” 

 

Kelley’s reply is salty but Christen knows she’s only joking, “It’s ok, you only made me feel unlovable for a whole 10 years,” 

 

Christen nudges her, “Happy looks good on you Kells,” 

 

Kelley smiles, “It looks good on both of us,”

 

_______

 

They win 4-0 and Kelley feels lighter after her talk with Christen during the game. They had left it unaddressed so many years and it gave her a sense of closure. Christen’s one of her best friends and her first love, it’s rare that she found both those things in the same person but she wouldn’t change anything even if she could.

 

“Hey superstar,” She smiles at Emily.

 

“It’s crazy Kells, we’re gonna be back here in 6 months, we’ll at least you for sure,”

 

Kelley crinkles her eyebrows, “Don’t underestimate yourself,”

 

Emily nods, “Come on, you’re my bus buddy for the night since Lindsey decided to leave with her PSG friends.

 

“I love hearing about being the second choice,” Kelley jokes.

 

Emily smiles at her adoringly and she melts, “I guess we have a lot in common then,”

 

_______

  
  


She melts, even more, when Emily brings her to the beach to watch the sunset and kisses her like the first time. 

 

Emily pulls out a velvet box and hands it to her; she hesitates for a second before opening it.

 

Inside the box was a simple silver band with some words engraved on the inside of it.

 

“It’s just a promise ring, but uh, sorry I’ve never done this before,” Emily laughs looking at Kelley with so much love.

 

Kelley’s on the verge of tears at this point. She knows Emily’s not proposing but this was the reassurance that she’s been looking for for a while now.

 

Emily clears her throat and continues, “I don’t know much about life, or how it’s supposed to work, I just know that I love you, and I’ve never felt this way about anyone. And when you told me you were worried about the distance I wanted to show you that you’re worth the distance and the waiting for me. You’re worth waiting for Kelley. One day I’m gonna wake up to you every single morning and we’re gonna go on stupid coffee runs where you deal with my avocado toast addiction and play pick-up soccer on the beach after you drag me out of bed at an ungodly hour to go surfing. All I’m asking for is a few months, after the World Cup we’re gonna figure it out, together. I got you this ring to remind you when you miss me, that um someday you’re gonna get all of me, my good days, my bad days-”

 

Kelley wipes the tears off her face and cuts her off, “And all of your pinky promise,”

 

Emily nods, she slips the promise ring on Kelley’s finger, “And all of my pinky promises.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm aware I really fucked up the timeline forgive me. And I also have no idea how the She Believes scoring works :/

Utah feels empty without Emily but she finds solace in hiking the back trails alone in the mornings with a cup of coffee in one hand and her camera in the other. She finds that in the time she’d been gone she had missed her family in Utah. From 5 mile runs with Becky to 7 hour New Girl marathons with Taylor she begins to find her footing again. It also gives her time to reflect on her relationship with Emily. After all, their dating timeline is messy. They were basically dating even before they both noticed their own feelings, no one suspected a thing because they were both just naturally touchy and affectionate people. They’d only been together for about 5 months and she doesn’t want to move too fast but it scares her that she can’t imagine her life without Emily in it. Their daily face times are the highlight of her day but she still yearns to be able to reach over and tuck a strand of stray hair behind Emily’s face and to hold her. Training with Becky every day is empowering, the centre back holds more experience and depth then Kelley’s ever seen in a player. On the field Becky is composed and passionate, off the field she’s every bit as passionate but also funny, kind, and everything Kelley strives to be. 

 

Hope drops by for a short visit and she takes her out to explore Utah. They take a short road trip to Moab to hike up to the golden arches and they watch the sunset together with their feet dangling off the side of a cliff, it’s the most courageous Kelley’s been in a while.

 

“This world cup feels so different,” 

 

They drink the Lacroix despite Hope’s protests that the sparkling water tastes like drainage water and Kelley retaliates by asking her, “How would you know what drainage water tastes like?”

 

“I remember when the first camp I met you, you looked so scared to even be there, you remember what I said to you?” Hope asks her.

 

Kelley laughs and takes a sip, “You told me if I don’t believe I belong then other people will start to believe that too, I thought you hated me,”

 

Hope shakes her head, “I saw a light in you, knew it from the first time you were gonna do great things,”

 

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Kelley says with a hint of tease in her voice.

 

Hope punches her shoulder playfully the sky is a million different shades of pink and it’s beautiful.

 

“I think in some ways playing with you was like having training wheels, after all, I wouldn’t be the defender I am without you-,”

 

Hope cuts in and finishes her sentence, “but the training wheels had to come off at some point,” 

 

Kelley nods sadly, “more like they just slipped out below me without any warning,”

 

Hope pulls her in for a shoulder hug, “I’m sorry kid, but you know I have to do the right thing,” 

 

“Always the hero,”

______

 

On the hike back down Kelley tells Hope about Emily, just like she used to tell Hope everything, in a weird way Hope was her best friend.

 

She talks for a while before realizing that she’s rambling, she expects Hope to look uninterested but Hope is looking at her with nothing but happiness.

 

“Annnd, I’m rambling,” She looks at Hope apologetically. 

 

Hope smiles at her softly, “You really love her huh?”

 

“Yeah, I do,”

 

“How do you know?”

 

_ “Because nothing makes sense without her,”  _

 

______

 

Hope goes back to North Carolina and leaves a full week supply of pre-made meals because, “Kelley the only meal you know how to make is Quinoa,” She protests but much to her dismay Hope’s meals are really, really, good.

 

The season starts and even with the new people, she feels like their team chemistry is on top of the world, 

 

Vero joins their team and her and Christen are so tight that you would never have guessed their past bad history. The rookies start to feel like little sisters and she’s oddly protective over them. It’s a lot of emotions all in one.

 

In the blink of an eye, she’s off to France again, this time she’s ready to win. It’s evident even after the first day of camp that her teammates are feeling the same thing, there’s less joking during practice and wasting time. Everyone locks into this mentality of trying to achieve perfection. Kelley starts to see the younger players really step up and fill their places on the team. She sees a different side of Emily then one she saw 4 years prior. This Emily is confident and a calm but fiesty player on the field. Off the field, she’s patient and somehow always knows what Kelley needs in any given moment. 

 

They decide together that they owe it to the staff to inform them of their relationship. Emily’s nervous but Kelley calmly holds her hand under the conference room table as they talk to Jill and Dawn about it. Both of them are supportive and happy for them but there are some simple ground rules set. 

 

1\. No rooming together

2\. What happens off the field absolutely cannot affect anything on the field.

3\. They have to find sometime when they’re ready to inform their teammates.

The third one is the one that Kelley feels nervous about. She wants Emily to feel ready before they share their relationship with other people. Emily snaps her out of her thought by placing an arm on her thigh.

 

“Wanna tell them at dinner?” She asks.

 

Kelley looks at her with surprise, “really?”

 

Emily nods and kisses the corner of her mouth she grabs her hand and drags her down to join the rest of their team at dinner. 

 

Emily steals Tobin’s fork and water glass. 

 

“What the heck?” Tobin looks at her confusedly.

 

‘Just trust me’ she mouths.

 

She taps the fork against the glass to make a toast. At this point, all eyes are on her and Kelley, she even sees Lindsey and Moe beaming at her proudly. 

 

She clears her throat nervously not sure how to start, Kelley intertwines their fingers together and her mind goes blank. It’s almost like she’s having a staring contest with her team back and forth until they look down at their hands and look back up and make the connection. Pinoe screams, “OH MY GOD SONNY ACTUALLY GOT THE GIRL!” And the team starts laughing and cheering.

 

Kelley looks at her adoringly, “I thought you’d have some sappy speech,”

 

Emily laughs at herself, “I couldn’t think of one,” 

 

Kelley just shakes her head in disbelief and kisses Emily with the biggest smile on her face, ignoring her teammate's cheers and hollers.

_____

 

Not much changes after the big reveal, they’ve always been touchy people even as friends. There is one thing, Kelley’s pretty sure that it’s her favorite feeling in the world. 

 

When they’re walking in public Emily will intertwine their hands nonchalantly. Even if they’re both talking to other people Emily will always find a way to be close to her. She sees the fan speculation on their ‘close relationship’ and it gives her a sense of comfort that so many people are okay with it. 

 

After the first few days, they can’t seem to find any alone time. Practice refocuses them and it’s the last thing on their mind with the world cup looming just around the corner. Without a doubt, they can’t get the same result as last year’s SheBelieves Cup.

 

Japan is physical and quite frankly a nice challenge. The two teams go neck to neck until just before halftime when Crystal streaks down the side and crosses a beautiful ball to Lindsey who chips it in just behind the keeper putting them in the lead. The backline plays a solid 4 back with Becky and Tierna in the middle and Crystal and Kelley on the wings. Emily was a little disappointed to be on the bench but it didn’t stop her from being excited for her other half on the field. She notices that in place of her promise ring, Kelley slipped on a rubber ring in replacement just before the game. It makes her happy that Kelley’s playing with a little bit of her heart on the field. Not much goes on in the second half, they come out of the locker room with the mindset to get 2 more goals but none of the opportunities came. Japan came close in the 78th minute with a shot on goal just outside the 18 but Alyssa easily saves it. 

 

They may not have scored but the team was run ragged by the end of the game. 

 

Recovery was nice the next day, she got some alone time to chill with Emily which despite their teammate’s teasing, only results in a well-deserved nap.   

“Mhhh, I wanna stay like this forever,” Kelley turns around in Emily’s arms so that they’re face-to-face. She’s so close that Emily can count the freckles on her face. 

 

Emily reaches over and traces a line down her jaw, “I feel like I haven’t gotten to see you in forever,” she whispers afraid that she’ll accidentally wake up Alex, who passed out on her bed. 

 

Kelley leans in presses their lips together gently, “I know, pretty girl,”

 

Emily melts into her touch, she shoots her a look that was all love, just the right hint of softness, a crease at the corners of her. 

  
She bites her lips playfully, “So I recall seeing something at yesterday’s game,”

 

“And what is that?” Kelley cocks her head playfully.

 

Emily grabs her hand and plays with her ring smiling, Kelley tries but fails to hide her blush. 

 

Kelley intertwines their fingers together and guides their hands to her heart. 

 

“I wanted to play with a little bit of your heart,”

 

Emily smiles at her and all she sees is the love in Kelley’s eyes, “I’m so fucking in love with you it’s unreal,”

 

Kelley shakes her head and kisses her again. They lay there until Alex wakes up from her nap and throws a pillow at them. 

 

“Come on lovebirds, time for some dinner!”

 

Kelley groans and tucks her face in Emily’s neck, “Someone’s cheerful,” she groans.

 

Emily laughs and kisses the top of her head.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for following the journey

**Chapter 14**

Emily doesn’t even attempt to hide her grin as the team lifts their trophy up in the air. She stands back and lets the happiness soak her bones. Pinoe and Ashlyn gets a pride flag from somewhere in the crowd and sprints across the field with the flag flying behind them. Tobin and Allie are posting on the US Soccer Instagram and Kelley? Kelley’s looking at her with a dorky smile on her face that makes Emily’s swell with pride. She’s pretty sure she can’t possibly love life more.

 

_ She’s wrong.  _

 

She’s so wrong because they go out for drinks to celebrate and Kelley’s slow dancing with her and Emily falls so hard. 

 

They sway there for some time, Kelley’s face resting in the crook of Emily’s neck and they’re both sleepy but neither one wants to let the moment end.

 

And sometime late in the night, she stumbles back to the hotel with Alex and Kelley, who refuses to leave her bed after they manage to get back into their room.

 

“Kell, come on you gotta go back to your room,” Emily protests, already feeling her headache.

 

Kelley shakes her head profusely like a child and pouts, she’s about 7 shots drunker then Emily and Alex. 

 

Alex sighs from behind Emily, she tosses Emily a shirt from Emily’s suitcase, “Just let her stay it’s the last day of camp anyways,”

 

Emily catches her UVA shirt and sets it down beside Kelley who was, attempting to take off her shirt but struggling. Emily clumsily helps her out of her blouse and slides her jeans off before sliding the shirt over her head and handing her some water. 

 

While Kelley’s sobering up she goes to the bathroom and brushes her teeth while keeping an eye on the two drunk girls currently in her room. 

 

Alex passes out on her own bed by the time Emily makes her way back to Kelley. 

 

“Alright let’s sleep,”

 

Kelley’s half asleep but she still laches on the Emily like a koala. 

  
And quite frankly?

 

Emily wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

______

 

Somehow they all make it to the airport on time, most are nursing a hangover, but the smart ones like Tobin, Christen, and Ashlyn look well rested and ready to go. 

 

“Rough night?” Tobin asks Emily who was rubbing her temples groaning beside her.

 

“I stopped counting after the fifth time Kelley threw up,” Emily grumbles and Tobin soothingly massages her tense shoulders.

 

“Don’t worry Christen dragged her and Alex to Starbucks,”

 

“I was wondering why no one was koala hugging me,”

 

Tobin laughs, “Well we all know how Kelley gets after she drinks,”

 

Emily looks at her gratefully, “Thanks for cutting me off after 4 shots,”

 

Tobin shrugs, “I look out for my Thornies,”

 

“I see how it is,” Tobin and her look up to see Kelley glaring at them with a cup of coffee in hand.

 

Tobin rolls her eyes and stands up to go find Christen, letting Kelley have the seat beside her. Kelley sits down dramatically and groans again, making sure her girlfriend hears her. Emily pretends she doesn’t hear her and Kelley groans again until she looks at her.

 

“What,” she asks.

 

“Everything hurts,” Her girlfriend shoots back aggressively.

 

Emily’s taken aback by Kelley’s aggressiveness but she caresses her face and covers her face with kisses until Kelley’s giggling like a high school girl. 

 

“Come on love, time for you to board your plane,” She gestures to where Christen and Becky were standing. 

 

Kelley shakes her head much like last night and hides her face in Emily’s shirt. Emily pulls back and kisses Kelley deeply before pulling away again.

 

“If you don’t go now, I’ll never let you go,” She says with a hint of sadness in her tone. Kelley kisses her again and grabs her suitcase.

 

“I love you, Em,”

 

Emily smiles sadly, wiping a tear from her eyes, “I love you too, see you soon,”

  
  


______

  
  


Later on, she learns that it never gets easier letting Kelley go, but it gets easier knowing that this feeling is only temporary. She learns that before Kelley she was afraid to love. Afraid that her love wasn’t enough for anyone. As cliche as it sounds, in a way Kelley teaches her how to love, fearlessly, bravely, and without a doubt. She also learns about the pain of her parents not being in the stands for the World Cup but her sister’s there with her friends cheering so loud that she swears she can hear them over the roar of the rest of the fans. 

 

She learns what it feels like to play a whole game in the World Cup and it’s everything she dreamed it would be and more. It’s playing in the biggest stadium she thinks she’s ever seen, under the night lights that seems that much more special.  

 

They win. 

 

They win and the first thing Emily does is sprint towards her sister and climbs the wall like so many before her and she hugs her sister like there’s no tomorrow. She doesn’t ever want to forget the feeling of accomplishing something that she’s devoted her whole life to doing.

 

She also doesn’t want to forget the feeling of Kelley kissing her in front of thousands of people without a care in the world. 

 

And three months later she realizes that Kelley’s the one. 

 

Kelley’s the one because Emily’s pretty sure no one’s else will ever make her feel on top of the world like this. No one else will challenge her to do insane things or wake her up at 3 in the morning for a spontaneous road trip. No one else gets her this way, and she’s positive she doesn’t want anyone else to.

 

She knows she’s the one because she’s sure that Kelley feels the same way. She sees it in the small things Kelley does like uproot her life in Utah to move to Portland and the way that Kelley curls up next to her when they have a rough game. And she definitely knows Kelley’s the one when she proposes to her under the night lights of Providence Park with their team watching secretly from a box.

 

Kelley’s speechless and Emily doesn’t need her to say anything because she’s never been more sure about anything or anyone in her life. 

 

Kelley just nods yes and kisses her and Emily replaces her promise ring with the real thing.

 

It’s everything she dreamed of as a kid, and Kelley was the love of her life, simple as that.

 

Kelley lets tears fall freely down her face as she brings her pinky up and Emily smiles.

 

_ ‘Pinky Promise?’ _

 

_ ‘Pinky Promise.’ _

 

**Fin.**


End file.
